WhyWeWork BrianVee
WhyWeWork BrianVee

Episode 41 · 1 year ago

#41 Nichole Fortner Stay Home Wife, Mom and Retailer WhyWeWork BrianVee

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Nicole Fortner is a stay home military wife, mom of three, homeschooler and retailer. Nichole takes us from her beginnings to her present day and opens up about the real difficulties that life presents us, but she also offers some hope on the horizon.    

Contact Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nicholeleaYounique: https://www.youniqueproducts.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cliffsgirl....Twitter: https://twitter.com/lularoenicholef

...welcome to why we work with your host Brian V. As he speaks to people like you from all over the world as we together dive deeper into our motivations, struggles, joys, seemingly missteps, hopes, warnings and advice which would be an encouragement to us all to get up. Get going on, Keep on working. Work is tough, but working is good. Now here's your host to why Wait? I'm Brian V and this is why we were today. I had the great pleasure of speaking with Nichole Fortner. She is Ah, home retailer. Also, she's a mom and she is a wife. I like to find out how she has this imbalance, what she does each day to stay productive. And what is her motivation to keep going to keep working, even when times were tough. So join me today in this conversation with Nicole Fortner. I'm Brian V and this is why we work today. I have the great pleasure of speaking to Mrs Nichole Fortner. Good day, young lady. Good day finds, Uh, thank you. Thank you, Miss Mrs Nichole Fortner for doing this with me. I you know anyone wants to check my previous interviews? I did have the honor of interviewing your husband, Mr Clifford Fortner previously. Um, but this is not about him. This is about you. So I do appreciate you taking the time. It is almost 11 p m your time. So I appreciate you and Cole. Why don't you do do us a favor? Dio tell us a little bit about yourself, and then we'll get the ball rolling from there a little bit about me. Well, a mom, a wife. Um, I we're living in North Carolina, um, husbands and the army. So I'm the army wife. What else about me? That's, um, interesting. I'm a triplet, so that's pretty cool. Um, I don't know. I home school, my Children. So I'm also, I guess, a teacher besides Mom on and I don't know, I enjoy going to the beach, walks on the beach, short walks on the beach. I'm or enjoyed sitting and enjoying the water and the sun. Sometimes I tell my Children take a long walk off a short pier. Those sorts of things, Nicole. Way back when what was your first job? What was the first thing you did? And it may not be a job I have some people get stumbled up on that question and think I didn't do anything until college. But, you know, I had a lemonade stand. That's what I'm looking for. Something that got you out. Um, it may not have been an official job. I think I find some people who are hesitant. It was under the table and they get a little nervous talking about it. I mean, say what you want. Um, but what was what was the first thing he ever did to venture out? Uh, whether it's for a dollar or just for some volunteer voluntary experience? The first thing I ever did, I think that allowed me to earn money. Waas I I was 14 and I did I can't remember what they called it, but like, my parents had to approve it or whatever. And it was at a day care. And so I wasn't like, I guess because, like, you had to be, like, at least 16 to get it like an official judge. And when it was a job, um, work, permanent job or something like that may be, but it was at a day care. So at 14 why did you want to get out and work? I mean, you you mentioned your triplets. So did your other two sisters get out first? You know, where you guys trying toe ladies? Trying to save up for something? Well, we kind of We all three did it at the same time, actually. So, um, I well, we wanted to make more money because we wanted to have spending money. Um, we didn't have a lot growing up, and so we wanted to have something for ourselves. Um, and also it was ah, lot of my parents idea because they wanted us to be able to help financially around the house. So just interesting was supporting things, so I mean, you think about it with triplets, up until you said 14. So you...

...were kids. You had your own little daycare at your house, like with 33 little girls running around. You know, my brother is only 13 months older than us. Okay? You had the four of you plopping around in the house and then at 14 You like, Okay, let's all work together in a daycare. Well, they actually didn't. They actually got separate jobs. They didn't do a daycare job with me. So that was e. Got a job? Okay, on Did that lead into anything else? I mean, even thinking. Now you say your stay home, mom, and you're doing home schooling, so that's kind of along the same lines. Did it lead to any natural path for you after 14 up into into high school? Not really. I mean, I didn't do a whole lot of, like, baby sitting jobs or anything because of that, I actually ended up getting another job soon after that. That was more like summer time for that one. And then, um but, I mean, I don't know. I think I had a passion for Children. Like, I love doing work in our Sunday school and being over the Children's, um, in our church. And that's something that I've always enjoyed doing. So So I know in college you went and took interior design. Correct? I have a bachelor's degree. Where where did that path come from? So obviously you decided before you went in or you switched. I guess you could have switched majors. But where did that, um, new artistic passion come out? At what age did you decide that might be for you. Well, really. I always liked designing stuff. I can remember, like even being in like, third grade and like drawing girl figures with dresses on them and stuff like that and just the design aspect of things I think I've always enjoyed. I even remember in high school my mom, she she came home with these architectural markers for just rendering and stuff. And I was when my when we first went long story. But my family moved from the West Coast, Arkansas, and, um, my parents and my grand parents worked on a floor plan House just schematics for a house that they were gonna build for us. And I thought that was cool. Just even like doing it on, like graft paper and stuff like that, just writing it out and stuff. So But I remember like when my mom brought these architectural rending pins home, I thought, This is super cool and so even thought even before doing interior design, maybe doing architectural er And then I thought graphic design for a while. But then I just Oh, something about the home bond. So I just kind of did the interior designer out. So after finishing or even during the interior design program that you took, were you thinking of something that you wanted to dio did or even Did you attempt to get into that, or were you in that for a little while? I Well, I I really wanted to be like my plan was to be, like, a big name designer, and, like, live in New York. That was like my plan. Oh, um, well, you're on the East Coast now. You're not far your North Carolina. Now. I think you're not totally far from it. Not too far. I don't know. I just I like the aspect of making spaces just better for people and just using even just what they have and just seeing things that they don't see. Um, I just I just like it a lot. Um, and so I just wanted that, and I knew that I could make good money doing it, and that was important for me, and, uh, it's just fun. And it was easy, and it just came naturally to which was nice. So did you have a next step plan nearing your graduation? Yeah. I mean, I had worked for an architect firm my senior year. Um, which was really great because I got to see the commercial side of design. I really liked focusing on the residential side, and but, um, it was really cool to be able to see the just the commercial side of we did, Um, some banks, we did actually got to go toe the Air Force base a couple of times. Onda help Thio, um, the...

...different materials that they would need for the room that they do the aviation things in there and stuff. And so that was really moved to be able to experience. Yeah. So, um, that was really cool to experience that. But my plan really was, um, just a find a good job, um, and eventually just get to New York and don't know why I wanted New York new. I guess everything happens in New York. I don't know. Oh, but I wanted to get out of Arkansas and just I was the first to graduate, and my family and I just wanted to do something for myself. Mm. So how did how did life kind of change your plans? What happened there? Oh, man, I'm Matt cliff Day on. And that was the most wonderful, unforeseen plan you've never not had. Yeah, I met my husband, and it was not my plan at all. And we actually went. I mean, that's funny, though. Nicole, not to interrupt. I mean, yeah, life happens. It really does. And, you know, we have these wonderful plans all the time. And, you know, we don't take into account the things that you know, Not on our radar. Unforeseen events. And because I was not plan on you can plan the unforeseen events, but that gets in the way of the plan. Mhm eso after graduation. How How long before you met Cliff? Holy mass graduation. Um, I graduated. Uh, no are may 6. I think I graduated in 2002 and not 2000. 2006. I graduate high school in 2000. I'm revealing my age now, so it's okay. You're young. I know. So 2000 may of 2006 and I met Cliff the Dave, actually, the day before his birthday May 8. We met in 2006. You had no wiggle room for you. Couldn't even get the wheels off the runway you were like Well, I did. There was a space. There was a space. I had the backtrack a little. I did go to a missions and prayer school after I graduated college, which, while I was in college, was not my plan, But that was definitely God's plan. I definitely had a very much just ah, calling for that. I believe, because it worked out. It was what happened and it was awesome. And so, um and that was hard for my parents to understand because they're like, no one's gonna hire you blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, No, it's fine, you know? Then I'll be able to feel, feel and see what I actually had a couple jobs lined up in California when we went to the missions in Perth. School was going to design a kitchen for a woman, and then I was actually gonna work with a company that designed decks and stuff like that. So that was pretty cool. It's funny, too, because you have your plan and then you have your parents plan. They're like, Oh, you got to get a job. And neither one of them was according waken, Will it all we want, But if it's not in the cards, none of my plans happened. None of them not. Not yet. Not yet. I interviewed a lady the other day. I I interviewed a lady the other day and she wrote a sentence 20 years ago to start a ball. And she just finished it this year and got a published. I mean, like, she had a few trans manuscript written over the last couple of years, I guess. But it finalized and she got a published just recently. 20 years later, her dream or hope came true. So every time, Yeah. So when you met the love of your life, how long before you guys were married? And how long before your plans? You know, at the moment I put on the back burner. Now you have this new new plan before you. I mean, I guess for most people honestly, pretty fast. We met in May. He proposed in July. Joan Juicy. He knew love at first sight. He knew right away did he really did. And he knew he wasn't going to get anybody back. Skip, it's true. And then we got married in December. And so which means it's good for you. It's not like he has this...

...other standard. Just he got the right. Yeah, yeah. And so what? Six months and then it was weird afterwards after we got married because we had both went to California together. Like that's where we thought. And we even thought that's where we're gonna be was in San Diego, and that just was not what God had planned for us. And so I ended up getting because we didn't know where we were going to be. We just got some jobs. So, like, provide for our family. And so he got a job at Walmart. I got a job, it lows working, and then interior section, which was great, you know, like paint window treatment, stuff like that, that stuff I could be good at. And then, I don't know, one day he was like, I think I'm going to join the Army, and that's not what I wanted. And God was like, What about what I want? I'm like taking it. Why do I gotta listen to you? And so he joined the military. I got pregnant, and the rest is history skimming. But well, I mean this is 2000. When did he join? 2007. 2000. 2000 and 7 August 2000 and seven. So, I mean, that's he's 13 years in now. Yeah, Crazy. Right? That that's a that's a pretty good thing. Yeah. And there was a few times I feel like he just didn't know if he wanted to stay in. And I'm like, whatever we're staying and you chose this job. You're retiring from the army. You're beyond the point of no return now. So now you have three Children? Yes. And you've been to many basis. We met in South Korea, and it was 2000 and eight, wasn't it? I mean, I'm pretty sure it was 2000 and because he join the military, you guys were deployed. Your first place was coming to Korea, and then we met you guys, and that was wonderful. Still, just before this, we were saying We say we're going to talk more often. We did when you guys first left us here alone way talked more often than just wind down, so that was kind of whirlwind. You had your you had one of your Children here. Actually, we had both girls in Korea. Mhm 2008. Yeah, I had our daughters around the same age. So I guess maybe I think we may have had Madison when we met you. Because I remember curing year round. So since she was born in 2009 So it was probably 2009 like fall of 2000 and nine, I think, or summer I don't remember. It was It had to be in 2009 though, because I had Maddie in March and we had just gotten there in January of 2000. No. 2009 then. Yeah. Okay, so he got there December 2000 and eight. That's because then because we had just turned one. Okay, so I always get my dates mixed up, too, because he still says, Oh, we've been increased since 2000 and eight, but really, December 25th, Basically. So yeah. So with three Children now being a military wife, as some say, how is how is the dust settled for you? Where you are now, 13 years later and I'd like to get into your, ah, home retailer as well. But how is it settling for you? so, you know, maybe almost considered a housewife. Except I know you're busy doing other things when you originally had a plan of doing this, which is not off the table yet, but you had a different plan. Your husband had a different plan on. And then now you're 13 years later of starting the military almost seven years out from being retired, how has things settled? And how does it look now? I mean, it looks nothing like I thought it was gonna look, um, if I like, but it's good. Um, it I'm still nowhere near being a professional interior designer. I have. The really cool thing is, I've been able to actually help a lot of just military families in just making their homes feel more like home. Um, and so it's been more kind of a hobby, I guess. And I've just gotten to take care of my home and is and I've had the option the opportunity to design our homes every time we've moved on. We moved so much, so eso you could start your own business. But just your own movie. Yeah, just with my own moves. Um, so in a in...

...a way. I feel like the dust hasn't really gotten to settle too much just because we moved a lot. And so and I think that also has kept me from really pursuing an actual, like, brick and mortar into your design job just because just supporting Cliff and his career and, um, knowing that it's not gonna last forever is good, But, um, I don't know. It just e guess it really hasn't. Nothing's really settled. E mean, we have our routine. Um, we know what it's supposed to look like, you know, every day. Um, I don't know. I don't know if that answers that as well as you wanted it. Answer. No, it does. And so with your Children as well. How is I mean, maybe you can speak to home schooling as well? Because I know that you guys were, um, on and off with the idea. Yeah, you're obviously Yeah, I didn't want to. At first I was like, That's not for me. Like, why would I ever do that? I have better things to do with my time. Um, and Cliff has always been a huge advocate of home schooling. Um, of me homeschooling not him Yukio do that to my dear wife too. It's a great idea for you to dio, but I don't know. I think it had I think God really had to work on my heart and just molding me and just softening me toward it. And, um, this past year, I've been through a lot with my mom passing and everything like that. And so this past year has been really good for me. Um, just wanting to be close to them. Um, Kobe, It kind of made it a lot easier to just because, you know, did not wanting to send them to school. But, um, we got a really good routine going on. We we get up at six and do our chores, eat breakfast all the things and start school by eight. And we were done by 1. 30. We even get to have an hour and a half lunch with Cliff when he comes home for lunch every day. And it's just really nice. And so they still get way get really good afternoons to do just fun stuff like the girls loved cooking with me. And so I get to do a lot of we get to do a lot of things together that I think we're gonna help them when they just grow up and get out of the house. And they're gonna be able to take care of themselves and know how to do laundry and know how to cook food, you know, and not just be helpless people that can't do anything for themselves. So, um, but I I even asked them yesterday. I was like, because we just We started a new curriculum this year. It's just really good, and it's got a lot of just biblical stuff in it, and but it's definitely more like structured and school like and they just like that. And so just being able to meet their needs, and that too, has been really awesome. But they love it. They love the structure, they love the 45 minute classes, and it just works well for us. And then, you know, we have the days where, like, today, I had to go do a WalMart pick up. So we had to stop for a little while, and that was fine because we could just pick up and go later instead of having to do catch up all the time, so it's just really nice It z really nice to just have them around. Um, and not even I don't want them around cause like, I'm afraid of anything, it's just it's really nice just to be present in their lives because I'm not gonna have them for much longer. I mean, my oldest is 12 is gonna be 13 in January, and I'm like, holy smokes, Not not many after that. I'm not gonna have them anymore, you know? And I don't know where God's going to take them, you know? And so I'm just enjoying it and and realizing that, you know, being a mom, being a stay at home mom being, ah, home schooling Mom is more a privilege than it is. What? I used to think it was just a burden. You That's how I used to feel and view it. And so, um, and I think that was God really changing my heart and just molding me and softening me and, um, e think just experience to of we've moved so much. And it's crazy because we I moved so much when I was a kid. I think God prepared me for being an Army wife? Well, Z, it's also it is a privilege. But there's times when it feels like a burden. It's not. Everything is not perfect for sure. Uh huh. But I think I...

...mean, not everyone has that opportunity. You know, there's single moms. There's people in tough situations to call. What I was thinking is I knew your mom passed away and my mom passed away. This year. I hope you don't mind me asking, but I wonder because I have a difficulty dealing with this is feeling that I haven't succeeded yet or I haven't, um, reached my own goals yet and wanting to show my mom. Do you have any of that thinking Because you mentioned when you when you finished graduation, you were going to go to California and your parents said, Well, how are you going to get a job? You're not going to do that. And so they obviously had expectation for you, and we don't always share the same expectations with their parents. But we also want to meet somewhere in the middle and say, Yeah, and then the, you know, good job. You finally got there. Do you have any of that. Sort of. I'm not anxiety, but angst. Er hope or wish that there was that possibility to say, Hey, mom, look, I I finally got to that place, You know, what I'm doing now is good, but I kind of got to that top of the mountain, and I just want to show you, you know, and show you How grateful do you think of those things at all? I actually have, um and not even just with, like, my bachelor's degree, you know, but just in different things to with whether it's my at home business or whether it is doing good enough job, home schooling or, um, being a good a good wife, you know? So, um, but I know that it was really important important for my mom and my dad, too, just to see me just succeed. And so I mean, it hasn't been like anything that has really, like, super stressed me out or bothered me too much, but, um, yeah, I mean, I have had those thoughts for sure. And it's a bummer that yeah, more of a bummer, right? Like sad. Not not so much anxiety. Just like, you know, I see. What What got me the first few months after my mom passed away is like looking at my Children. And you know, my son or daughter, you know, writing something. And then I'm like and I think my mom Oh, I wish I could show. Yeah. Oh, those moments, those little tiny things. Or Benjamin just went thio his 1st 1st day of school this this semester. My mom died in September. So to show a picture of, you know, first day of school where your grandson does not exist, like thought kind of flips over as it it does exist. And then I quickly squish it with the fact and the reality that it no longer so Yeah. Bummer. More like those bummer moments. Yeah. I mean, Madison got baptized and, like, the first person won't tell us my mom and so I just Even though I knew she wasn't going to read it, it was just more for comforting for me. I just wrote because my dad still has her Facebook activated. I just wrote her a little message on Facebook Messenger. And it was more, you know, for me, but yeah, definitely. Bummer moments, E Yeah, yeah, they're tough. They're tough. And I hope they never go away Because even though they're bummer moments there, they're still precious. And memories way know that we still love their parents. So what does a typical day or week look like for you, Nicole? Including your retail business. So what is it that you're doing with that and with your home schooling and, you know, taking care of your husband? What? What does it look like for you? Besides, I guess the homeschooling parent. Okay, so I'm just before we get up at six. Which I'm not a morning person, but God has been good to me there. We've had lots of tea and coffee, um, and then just getting them settled. The curriculum we're using is very it's not self taught, but like, you read the directions and you can do the work. And so Jaden and Madison are awesome. They're, like, so great at it. And don't they have, you know, questions every once in a while, so I can still do what I need to do, whether that's around the house or working the business and stuff. But Brooklyn takes a little bit more effort just She's younger, and so she's sort of different learning level. And so just balancing that, um, I have slowed down a lot with my retailing business. Um, just with...

...everything that just from really moving from Louisiana to North Carolina and, you know, getting a new clientele base and then with mom passing and stuff it just life has happened. And so But, you know, it's still it's still nice to be ableto work it and have people come over. And so, um, I think one thing I love about my my retail business is What is it specifically? I knew you were doing something else, but I also noticed, uh, unique. Uh, Mary Kay. So Mary Kay Yes, my gosh, howling about Lula Row is a women's clothing business on my gosh, I think it's been four years I've been doing it and it Zbynek pretty study. It's actually it's called my house. Um, actually has actually helped me be able to take my parents on vacation the summer before my mom passed away. And so, um, I mean, Cliff provides very well for our family, so it's more just like it was more for me for extra fracture for the kids. Also, just I really enjoyed making women feel better about themselves in their clothing, in their makeup. I've always enjoyed. I always say, I should have just going to cosmetology school instead of $30,000 in debt with interior design degree, but because I just love doing hair and makeup and all of that. I've always enjoyed that, but just really making women just feel confident and beautiful and who they are in their own skin and so just building those relationships. And I've met so many women and like, even if it's just over Facebook, like being able to just connect with them and relate with them and like, I don't know how many women have reached out to me like when my mom passed and I can connect with them or if they've gone through something, or like when hurricanes happened in Louisiana and stuff like that, just be able to connect with people where they've lived. What they're going through has been really nice and really awesome. So but an average day working my business would be, um, reaching out, sending emails, occasional phone calls, Um, no more than an hour to I mean, it was very, very part time, Um, and definitely doing like super fun. Facebook lives at night, and those could last anywhere between 30 minutes and sometimes two hours, depending on who hopped on because every day was different. Because everybody else's schedules look different than mine, too. So, um, and now, with uh, doing Mary Kay, um, it's a It's been a slow start just with because of Kobe. 19 and not having people come into your home and stuff like that. But, um, it's slowly, slowly and steadily changing. Um, and it's just fun. It's just fun. And this stuff I can actually do with my girls to and, um, just extra and just being impactful and being able to use something as simple as skincare or makeup or a pair of leggings to be able to impact somebody's life. I think it's pretty cool, especially with being an Army wife so much, especially as being an Army wife and moving around so much and that kind of being, in a way, instability, um, with the job and so you could just take through the row or Mary Kate with you wherever you go, every time, I think Mary Kay, I think of the pink Cadillac. Hopefully hopefully get yours. It zits the thing that I'll take with me for the rest of my life meeting you guys. And there's a couple of other families that we were both friends with while in Korea that turned my attention and my appreciation for the military. People can say whatever they want about government and military and all this other stuff. But what and even my dear wife, who was even, um mawr attracted to the military, is because at least it may not be as tight as you want with all people but the community that is there at your disposal. In the military, it seems invaluable. And for wherever you are, you are able to continue to make friends as close as you want or, you know, keep from a distance. But it's still within your community, and that's what I appreciate it the most about the military, and it made us like, envious and saying, Hey, I wish we could do that And that's one thing. I think you...

...probably have other customers as well, but wherever you go, you like you'll be able to have a least a base of customers that you know that will will be there for you. Yeah. I mean, you gotta build them up, but that's part of the job. So and and it's good to where you can keep going to these places. I mean, it's hard. It has to be different because you're in a place, you build up some relationships and then you move. But also, you didn't disconnect those relationships. And you never know. Once everyone's, you know, brought back in all the people in the military retire. You might be close to someone that you weren't close to for 12 years because you met them in some other different place out of your home schooling. You know, being a stay home. Mom. Ah, military wife, your retail business. What is most difficult for you? Let's see what is the most difficult? Oh, man, that's a loaded question. Where do I pick from like, oh, can I say what is the one? That's kind of Polk's ugly head up the most, um, probably homeschooling honestly, even though I love it so much, and I think it's more just, uh, insecurities and myself, probably, and I Am I doing good enough? Job? Are my kids going to be able to go to college because they've been homeschooled? Like, just simple, silly things. Really? Like that? Um And so they're common, though, so they're not that silly. It's just you're doing it for the first time in your life. So there they seem, like simple. Just But they're the most common I am. And I'm not a very disciplined person. Like, which is crazy because Cliff is so structured and disciplined and like, Okay, so happy, Clark. Time to get up. I'm like, Wait, now wait. I want to get up at nine. What do you mean, if I like? And so that also has been a difficult part. Um, even like I feel so sad because sometimes my kids, but like, hey, Mom, you're getting up with us. I'm like, Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm getting up. Let's go to the Pledge of Allegiance. Eso That is because I'm just that's I'm not a structured person. So it's in a kind of a way, even though it's been really hard. It's been really good thio because I have to be structured with home schooling, especially for their sakes. But, um, there's plenty of home schooling families. That just structure is not for them, you know, And that's great. And that's fine. Everybody's different. Um, but yeah, the structure part in the getting up early and the feeling inadequate at times Because tech, um, it what's a pronoun? You know, how long has how long has it been since I've been in school? What's the pronoun? So, um, I would say out of all of that, probably homeschooling. I think it's I interviewed and I knew and I met her here because we have the program to of Robinson Curriculum and Cassidy Sloan. She does it here, and she's where we met. Well, no, where we met, but where you guys were staying in wagon and she the good thing about that. And I'm sure the program you're doing as well there's probably an online community. What's people doing it? So, just being honest, being open with some of these people and telling them I think is probably a really good resource just for yourself. You don't have toe tell your kids Well, this is where I'm going. I'm just trying toe get, find some answers or just getting some relief for getting some encouragement. But it's it is an ongoing battle. And there, as you mentioned, silly questions. But they're not. You know you're providing something, and this is not to encourage everyone to do home schooling. But if you're doing it, it has very little to do with your ability to know the answers. It is your ability to be there as simple as that. Like to be there, especially for so you said Brooklyn, because that's those are the hardest ages, right? Because once you know 12 13 14 if they had any experience with it and even if they didn't, if they're able to read a little bit, follow the instructions. And they know Mama and Papa mean business that they can do that at younger age. It's the constant grind of Sit down. No, this is what you have to dio and from our experience, because we do it continually with them in public school. Um, is that's That's the hardest part. Like for my dear wife of that. Sit down. Okay, we got to do it. And if you turn your head for a second or whatever you know, you have your own life, and I'll get into that, too. What do you do to enjoy yourself like you turn your way and then the kids not doing it? And then it's that happens every 20 minutes or long, so you mean shorter periods of time or...

...every day. Then he gets discouraging when they I just want to send them to school that I could be done with it, right? And But it goes back to being a privilege to Yeah, like if if I don't Our kids are growing so quickly. Everyone's Children. They grow so quickly that if they go away for a week, like you could actually not see them and recognize that they grew. I'm sure, Jaden, because your husband so tall, like in a week, if someone hasn't seen Jaden in a week, like you can see that he grew physically and by you being there, you're you're watching it. You don't notice he's growing. It's like you don't know if your hair is getting along except hey, it was here and now it's here, but you don't see it, but that's like those grand parents that like, Oh, last time I saw you, you were there. Now you're here, but you have that privilege of watching them. Then with that comes that burden. So it's tough and it's Z absolutely difficult. It's not uncommon. And, uh, I think if you're willing todo it good, it's a good idea for you. You know, we we try. It is tough, Nicole. It really is tough. And that's why a lot of people don't do it, I hear. But it's super rewarding to like, just even today. Like Madison, she was so nervous for one of her unit tests that she did. And she's like, Don't tell me what I made mom yet till you're all done and just her anticipation and then being able to, like, see that she did a really great job. And even the times where, like even when Brooklyn struggles like and not knowing her feel seeing herself feel inadequate, like she can't do something, being able to be there to encourage her and show her that she can, like, really do it. And so um, yeah, there's definitely a lot of reward. What's the program that you're using, or is it a mix? A lot of people use a mix well we're not. Actually, it's a really cool program. I can actually even just show you the box. It's called, um, Alpha and Omega, and we're doing life packs. Um, this is just hiss science. This one's Jaden's and so program. It's really good, um, through doing Bible, math, science, history, geography, language, arts, handwriting, Um, but each each subject comes with 10 different books and their unit books, and so they get to specifically focus on that certain topic in that unit. And then they take a They caught the life pack test over the whole unit. They have smaller tests, quizzes, and then they have their big test. And so and then you go on your own pace sometimes like Jade, and he finished Ah, whole whole thing and like to two weeks, and they allow you like 3 to 4 weeks. And so, um, it's something about your own pace kind of thing, too, but it's ah, it's a skill mastery, so they'll be mastered in what they're learning when they're done with it. If it's taught properly. So my first years Internet and I'm like it. I know you know this without me even saying, and I don't mean to say it just to say it, but, you know, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, looking back, you won't think of it as a difficulty. You will have cherish that time. Because at the end, that's all it's gonna matter. You know, we've taken degrees that mean very little. Hopefully they mean something in the future, but little compared to the family time that we've had. And you and I will trade a lot of things to spend, you know, one more day with the mother or some friend that has passed away in the education. While important, you know, it's good to know you would never trade the time in the future that had with your Children. Now. So just just trying to keep that in the middle. Yes. I said sit. Not that this is what you guys do. But this is our house. And I said, Sit down. You better. You're not going outside today. Those types today what we have, we have four cats. And so I'm Brooklyn. I'm like Brooklyn. Stop heading with Cat. Don't play with that one either. Or that way I couldn't do it. But you didn't say that one s O. And it's just like in an instant. She's just like, Wait, What? I'm like Brooklyn Focus. Yeah, it's like the I don't know. It's a video of some sort. The dog pushing the rock, pushing the rock, pushing like squirrel. Get distracted on anything out of all the frustrations that you might have or the the difficulties. What brings you the most satisfaction out of what you do on a regular basis? I think Just sing them. My kids succeed. I think, um,...

I don't know. It just feels good. I feel like I did something good. I did something right. Um, what I feel like when my kids succeed, I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Um and that just that really just brings me joy and happiness. And I don't know when they listen. That brings me joy and happiness way often. Look at I get I get stuck on You're not listening now, But, you know, the 23 hours and 30 minutes before that they were actually listening. It's just 30 minutes, way like laser focused on that 30 minutes. So, like, come on, e, I had to tell you so many times it was twice it was twice. What do you think? People in a called Take it. Whatever one you you think more people do not understand being a military wife being a stay home, mom or, ah, home schooling, mom or home home retailer. What do you think? People do not understand about what you do and that you would like them to understand a little bit more just so they can appreciate what it is you're doing or at least just have a better understanding. What would you like? People understand. I think there is a perception that I just congee just dio like whatever I want in in a way, I do kind of have that freedom just because And this isn't for every military family either, because there are different ranks and stuff and we weren't always in this position where we just have some freedom financially. Where I if I didn't have to work if I didn't wanna work, don't have Thio. But I think but the perception of well, you know, she just stays the home and just doesn't do anything while her husband goes to work. And this is like like outside military people, like civilian world. Um, you know, the sitting on the couch eating the bond bonds, watching the soap operas while her Children one wild. You know, um, I think there is that perception sometimes, Um, also, like, even, I think maybe with my husband, sometimes the perception of what do you do all day? And I'm like, Well, can I just show you a day where I don't do anything and then you get to see what I do all day? Um, so and that's not to bash my husband. You? No, no, no. But I'm guilty of that, too. Like, honey, what were you doing today? I mean, probably you to keeping the house clean. The house seems always clean, but it's not magical something. It is not just the house. Like if there's dinner made, the kids are doing what they're supposed to be doing. And it's always that way, as as husbands Azaz, Cliff. And I'll say maybe not the rest of the husbands were gonna think Well, it's always this way. So what else were you doing? This is what I'm doing. This is why it looks this way. Yeah, um What else? I don't know. I would say as, um uh even as an outsider being like a homeschooling family, Um, just the perception of, Well, you just maybe you think you're better than I am because your kids can't go to your kids, don't go to school. I even there was it can even it can go both ways, too, because I was really afraid to take my kids out of public school to home school them because the perception of, um, them thinking that maybe I just didn't want to get up to take my kids to school, and I just wanna, like, sleep in all day. Um, that was something that affected me for a while to like, I was so afraid to go up to the office and fill out the paperwork. And I was just like a little school girl like, but just don't know, having people in your corner having people, you know, a community of people that, you know, I think like minded like you is very helpful and keeps those misconceptions at bay. I think sometimes too. Yeah, I think you're right. There's some of those perceptions out there, but listening to you or knowing any other person that does what you do, whether it's home schooling or stay home spouse or have your own business...

...at home. The stuffed eats up time and time means that you're being productive. How do you stay productive? Nicole, How do you stay? Motivated? What keeps you going? In spite of the difficult what keeps saying going, um, knowing besides coffee and tea. I know, uh, well, with I guess I could, like, do a couple different categories, like as a mom as a home schooler. Home schooling, mom as a retailer. So what keeps me going as a mom knowing that, um, my kids one day or not going to be with me anymore? I don't know. I think it's just a really profound thing to just understand and to think into grasp like, I don't know if other people think this way, but I mean, I hope they dio but just knowing that like, they're not going to be with me for forever, like, and that what I can instill in them or provide for them to help them be even just a better person in life like that is that motivates me that that helps me go. Um, I'm not saying every day is perfect because their days that hang I want to sleep in and I don't care. We're not doing home school today, you know, like, and I'm not a productive person. Um, because life just happens and, you know, but, um, And then with home schooling, just like I mentioned before just saying just them succeed in their homework or making a good grade on their tests and just being like, even doing, like, science, experience and stuff together and just seeing like that connect. And they're like, eyes light up and stuff like that. I think even just teachers in general at school can connect with kids that way. And that's something that brings them like joy and makes them and will do their jobs even more. Um, but experience that is really nice. And then as just a retailer, um, because there's been I've been there's been plenty of times I've been in a funk and not worked my business and have seen the results of that, you know, no income coming in, you know, but working the business, even working the business and not making any money. But making connections and stuff like that has is brings me a lot of joy. Um, I just eso even though it's just clothing and it seems vain and it just makeup and skincare, it just There's something about just a woman feeling confident and like wanting something more better for herself, even if it's just looking better and a pair of leggings or washing her face at night with skin care. You know, we're putting on some really good mascara, um, in her feeling more confident in being a better wife, you know, because she wants to be more presentable for her husband. Not that you have, but those were things that matter. I think I think it's e think that's important. Um, and so yeah, I would say for that. Also, in a coal that is something that your own right, you're the thing you do for your husband is with your husband. The things you do with your kids, that's for your kids. But the retail business. This is your own little thing, that you could kind of push people away, and this is your own little thing as well. So it's for you and to give you a little a little break from what you do in a regular basis. Yeah, it is nice. So it's kind of like close gets to come home from work. I kind of go do my work to get away from, like, the home. Not that the homes bad. Well, Cliff has his hobbies to write, and kids have their hobbies to, right? We know Cliff has hobbies. Like fixing things and stuff. Yes, he's the fixer. Eso those things keep you productive. What In pick? Something, I guess. Whatever it is, what is the favorite thing you like to dio eso? I guess Interior design you would have liked, you know, pencils and, you know, architectural er, textural things. But what's the favorite tool that you use? Uh, in all of the work that you dio, it could be a tool Or just, you know, it could be something simple. Is talking your tongue or computer or what is something you like to use the most? E guess you could say my hands e mean honestly, if I think about it, I do so much. There's so much I love to do that involves my hands like my brain. Honestly, um, it seemed like just kind...

...of given answers. But, um, like, I just and I enjoy cooking. I enjoy big, even though that's part of, like, taking care of my family. Like I love to, like, bake. You're a great cook. I know that for sure. And, like, make things for people, like bake things for people cookies, cakes, whatever even food like, Oh, I'm and I don't make just a little bit of food. I make, like, a bunch of food, so I gotta, like, share it. And so I enjoy doing that. You know, I crash a and that's something I really enjoy doing to Andi. I've actually been able to provide money for the family doing that, too. Um, so, yeah, I would think my hands Yeah. For my show. Why we work, Nicole. I like to try toe. Give people advice and encouragement and just some tips. Do you have a top tip that you would have for anyone getting into work or changing the career or life? Just slap them in the face and they're dealt with. Dealt with something different. Do you have some advice for a tip for someone just getting into work or changing careers. Oh, man. I would say my best tip would, um be, I don't know, just taking it one day at a time. Um, if it's hard because, you know, moving all the time for me to first, like remembering who I am. So remember who you are. Um And remember, just remember your passions on DNO. What? Know what you're good at and, you know, be confident in what you're good at. I mean, it's it is easy to, uh, let that small voice in the back your head. I like to call it the enemy sometimes. Um, just that self doubt creep in. It's easy to let self doubt creep in, especially when you're going into a new place or a new job. Um, and you may or may not be familiar with how things you know, go. But I think if you're just confident in what you know on what you've learned in your whatever if you went to college, you know, um, just being confident in what you were taught and what you get at and that's actually helped me with, um because I've even second guessing myself thinking I'll never be able to do interior design because it's been 10 plus years since I've graduated, you know? And so, um, but I know that I'm good at it. And it's something that I love to dio. So if you know you're good at it and you know you'll love it, just continue keeping that confidence and trust yourself and trust your abilities. I think that would be my step. I believe you have a portfolio that you once showed us. You do have a port. Do you still have that? Okay. Do you dio I mean, you only have seven years before we're looking at retirement, and I don't mean it, but yeah, I mean, we are looking at retirement. So you guys are gonna build a house so you could start your architectural passion with your interior design knowledge and put them together and build. Make sure that that new home has an extra a room for us to come out. We're just gonna have the mother in law suite for mother in law suite. That to come. And so on this. Go ahead. No, that was it. Was it so on the side of doing all that you do? How do you balance that out? I know it's kind of a reprieve to do the you're retailing business. It kind of gets you a little bit out on your own. But how do you balance with the rest of your life to find enjoyment and things that you like or what some things that you like to do besides the work that you dio? Um, it's not too too bad. I mean, it can get kind of annoying because I sometimes have to go off of cliffs schedule and, like working, especially want to do things like as a family. But so let's say we'll just keep Cliff out of it because this is about me right now. Yeah, absolutely. You're right, though it is. What is? What do you do? What is it you like? Teoh. Coffee and tea is always enjoyable. Always. I mean, always coffee and tea with friends is always something that's very catching up. I enjoy going to the park with the kids. Um, just for myself. I just really enjoy spending fun, quality time with my friends, Um, whether that's...

...just going in, watching a movie together. One thing that I just love doing just this past year is just playing monopoly. Deal with my friends and just like letting the candle. It's like a card version of Monopoly, and it's the best game ever. Okay, I never heard of it before. I mean, I love Monopoly. We used to play for money. When we're kids like real money, you can play it in like, 15 minutes. So it's not like, Ah, four or five hour monopoly game? No, but it's still fun. It's still like the just chicken really make people mad, and I just I'm very competitive when it comes to games. So eso that I we love getting out and, you know, going to the beach because we only live, you know, barely two hours away. And so, um, and then any other, just like extracurriculars that I like to do, whether it's women's Bible study, um, or meeting for just meeting a front, you know, outside of outside of like the church environment and stuff like that. So, um, definitely it's different looks different during the summer than it does during school of school year with the kids. But, um, it's it's kind of nice because it also can get overwhelming feeling like I need to be able to have a certain amount of time with every friend. And so it's been nice. Okay, the weekends, Fridays and weekends, and sometimes a day or two during the week after school. We'll do friend time, and that's and it's really nice because my friends are have kids. It's similar ages of my kids. And so, um, it's nice because they're friends. And so playdates or nice, Um, so it sounds like you do have a good balance, but it's always we always wish we had a little bit more of that balance. A little bit more of that time kinda eludes us. If you think back of when you first got that job at 14 in the daycare, or as you moved out to California, had some opportunities after college to design someone's kitchen or bathroom. What is one thing that you wish you knew then, before starting work that you'd like other people toe consider before they get into work? Um, what did I wish I knew then? Mm. What's a good question? Um mm. How do I wanna wear this? Probably that, um I think once I make a commitment to something like, I make a commitment to this woman Thio design her kitchen or whatever it was going to be That, like, I need to have follow through. Um, I think like keeping my word showing up, you know, like being a responsible person. Um, I think I was that then. But even at, like, 14 and working at the daycare, um, like, you have to show up or like, it doesn't just affect your life effects the lives around you, like there are expectations of people around you. And so if I'm supposed to be, you know, at my daycare eight oclock and I don't show up, then somebody who drops their kid off, they can't get to their work on time, you know? And so it can be like a ripple effect. So I think just like being, I guess, dependable, Um, and sticking to it and once, like, a commitment is made, then like sticking through it until, like, things obviously change, like people move or something, but like, you could do like your two weeks notice and stuff like that. So, like, that's different, So integrity is important, you know, it's good. No, it's for it's right out of my interviews. No one said that its integrity is important, and we should be instilling that in our Children and reminding young people that it's important because they lead to other habits in life. Mhm. Nicole. What is a mistake? That one of the biggest mistakes she was you've...

...ever made that you've learned from, Oh, does this mean I'm human? Well, you ever make a mistake? It's what's one of the biggest mistakes you have made. I know a gentleman awoke. I had the question and he said his answer and it reminded me of my own biggest mistake. And that's just when I thought I found a truth in life that I felt that every everyone had Thio no, and I felt everyone must know it. And if they don't know it now, they're wrong and they're in trouble. And my approach to it, um, burned a lot of bridges. So that was probably one of my biggest mistakes in life of just trying to be so militant in the way I approached this particular thing. And so that was a big mistake that I learned that, you know, just pull back the reins and understand. You know, even life lessons is life will be presented differently than what we really think it will be. So, you know, we can't always playing. So that was for me Just to give you some idea of miss takes. How Maney have I made today already? So what's what's one that has taught you a lesson? Um, well, I it is a couple of years ago, I was not in a very good place. Um, just probably mentally, um, spiritually. My marriage, all of that. So, um, e won't go into, like, serious detail. Um, but, um, I probably one of the biggest mistakes. Waas I was just not who I knew I needed to be. I was involved in, um, celebrate recovery, which is a recovery Christian recovery program. And I was actually leading, um, several of the classes and I was also basically kind of living a lie. I was, um, going out and drinking and bars and just living another life. Basically, um, like, I would leave my house at night. And when all the kids were asleep and Cliff was asleep, and I would just go hang out with my friends and drink. And my biggest mistake with that is and I'm It's recently gotten better, but so that was my biggest mistake. But what I've learned from it is that, like everybody is always watching, especially your Children. And my kids would often after God's got ahold of me again. And I just changed back to who I was and who I am. Um, my kids just like, Are you coming back, Mom, Like, are you leaving again? You know, and so me thinking that I was hiding what I was doing, um was very like No, like every, like, even my kids were seeing that I was gone and that I was different, that I was distanced, you know, um and so learning that So what I learned that is, um, that my Children and my family is more important than just stupid, selfish stuff. I'm not saying like I don't have theirs. I don't have What is the word I'm trying to think of, like I don't deserve, like, early don't deserve anything. But like, I e still can be selfish sometimes, right. But, um, because we're all human and we all want some time alone. sometimes, but, um, just I learned healthier ways to handle life and frustrations and being a mom and being ah, wife to a man who's in the military. And and so, um, and I've learned what, um, just sweat forgiveness is And what, um, just graces. And just that people who are there for you and love you are really there for you. That was That's the biggest mistake. And I'm just grateful, um, and...

...just learning that people are just always watching and especially just being a follower of Christ. Um, I don't know. I feel like a house. An example to set and sow, especially to my babies, you know? And so, I mean, definitely a learning experience. Um, I'm not I can say I'm happy I did what I did, but I'm not really I'm not happy what to do with it. I mean, I'm happy I've come through it and have learned from it. Um, and God can use that to, you know, as part of his story for my life. Um, so but yeah, well, it's funny. A lot of thoughts were going through my head, and it's my my my downfall of learning to listen versus trying Thio, say something to what someone saying is. It reminds me when I don't know. 20 years ago I was driving a limousine and there was a guy who worked in my company and he was gray on top. And so he was 60. Something at least. And and this My life was totally different than but I always remembered. He said this because there's a lot of guys out there and we called the pit the people who wait for to pick up brides. You're just waiting at the airport and he was telling about he quit smoking 2030 years before that. And he's like I used to smoke a packet. He just use a really nice, kind, older man. I remember, um, and he said, Do you know what I did? I don't know if it was the other day, whatever it was, But the other day he goes. I woke up in a panic. He goes, Well, I I used to smoke one pack, two packs, three packs a day, and I always kept the the pack of cigarettes right close to my heart. My my pocket on my chest, he said. Just the other night I woke up in a cold sweat and I start looking around trying to feel for my smokes. He goes, You know what? 2030 years later, the temptation doesn't go away. He goes, I don't smoke. Right. But 23rd, 30 years later, it's still hanging on to me and it may think of something else is well of and growing up, I I knew of people who drank. And before I even say this, I feel I should say I have no problem with people smoking. I have no problem with people drinking. Not at all. Like if I so choose even myself. I haven't drank in 12 years. This is 2020. The last time I drank was and this is not good. On me is 2000, 2000 and eight. My dear wife gotten a little fight. I couldn't even tell you what it was about. And I like I'm gonna go. And this is in Korea so you can buy beer, whatever you want in any local convenience store. Just fuck or something. So I bought, like what we were saying Can is a tall boy, a couple of tall boys like 10 tall boys. I mean, like, not just one. And I went I think I bought some smokes and I went to the the little hill that was in front of our apartment and she found me. And she's like, if you're gonna drink and so I'm gonna Jenkins, you know, my dear wife, Little Spitfire. Um and I was like, No, because she's the worst drinkers. She's allergic to it. So it has the worst effect on her and like No, So I didn't drink. I think from that I learned the best thing because I have no problem with drinking. I might drink again, but I just haven't drank since is my biggest problem. And growing up I always saw people around me drinking to escape the problem. But I know there's people out there who who drink to enjoy a drink. People there are people I believe that could just just have a beer or glass of something. I mean, there is that, you know, if you have the ability to turn on, turn off the faucet of one drink is not 20 because some people can't because that's just just their their their problem that they have. And so drinking. I don't have a problem. And some people, some belief. Some things like never drink, never smoke I don't have any problems with tobacco is silly as it sounds. I have no problem with other things that people dio, especially if it causes people to go to jail for I'm like, I don't know. Um, but for alcohol, I grew up in an environment where it was always escapism. It was always to escape, and then and what you're saying, It reminded me of growing up in people that I knew people that I knew. Um e mean, you're all OK to say about yourself, but I won't say anything...

...about anyone else in particular. Ah, is I could whiff, you know, So kids air wise, right? Kids consents. Okay, As an example, I don't know anything about how you react, but but Mama's in a good mood today. She must be thinking about what she's going to do in a few minutes, like they have that perception of whipping that out. Not only do they have a perception of whipping it out before it comes is certainly when it's already happened. Oh, yeah, we know where, Mom, Because Mom does. You know, we're really, you know, incapable of changing our patterns, Especially if it's going to be into something. Um, like, just say, going to a bar like, Okay, well, you're gonna wear this makeup. Are you gonna wear those clothes or you're gonna? Whatever it is, they can whip it out. And so I always could whip that out the day before. Like not because one you knew the day was gonna happen because it wouldn't happen on this day or it wouldn't happen at this time. It's never gonna happen then. But you know this after this sort of thing. If it's going to happen today, it's gonna happen now. Eso then as a kid, I would take I could take advantage of those things. Mm, right. Like, hold it against someone or try to get something from it. And that's how I play that game my whole life. So, yeah, you're right, you're the kids will see that, and that's it's and it goes back to Why do it. Well, if it's not escapism, then you're perfectly fine. Then you don't need to hide it, right. It is escapism. Then you go back to finding out why and if it's needed. And if it's and for me, for my wife and I, When I fought, it was escape. I'm just getting out of this and I'm just gonna go drink and back to the man with cigarettes. I still have that, like, any fight, you know? Should I? I'm gonna just go get drunk as if, like I got drunk enough of my lifetime to know that it never makes things better. It always makes things worse, whether it's just like being 40 something and just feeling worse, let alone doing something even more stupid or idiotic or saying something. So I commend you on saying that I don't think I certainly know you're not the only one. And the word, I would say, is the temptation of all of that in life. Life is tough, Nicole. That's why I'm like, man, I'm glad some of those drugs that are around nowadays weren't around when I was a kid because sign me up right and those things are addictive and, like some people can't turn around from some of those. So it's because life sucks sometime or a lot. If we wear the glasses at all because we have the wrong attitude towards what's going on in life. And we think it should be different because this way or this way, or there's some external things that are going on that are forcing us to think well because it does suck. Like if you're I don't know if you're living in some communist country and everyone's abusing you, it's horrible. That's external internal. Is something going on in your mind? You can't get over, Um, then you're you know, we're abusing ourselves, and then you have those conflicts going on that drives us to drink, as they say. So I don't think alcohol is bad. I really don't think alcohol is bad. And maybe one day just my dear wife and I would sit down and have a glass of wine. She just can't drink, which I think is good, because maybe we would drink more often if you matched. Are fighting with eso? No, I think that's really good that you'd be willing to say that, um and those were mistakes that we learned from right. And if we have, you know, a higher purpose or if we have a more solid foundation to stand on and to know that we have people to talk to, like those air, all helpful ways. But I would be careful to say like, I can't drink. Maybe you can't, right? Right, you can't. But not like that was the bad thing I was doing. Maybe, you know, going out in the middle of the night, your your camera disappeared there. We're going on the middle light, no one knowing and going when everyone's asleep. But if it's like Okay, kids, Mama's going out and it's under control. I'm not going to go do X y z. I'm just going to go out with my friends. That is not I don't think the most horrible part. I think the most horrible part is like bubbling over and making it a secrecy sort of thing. So that's all I...

...got to say about that. So I think I commend you for acknowledging that, and, um, I hope you the best in that. But I think, um, one thing is talking about it and realizing what you were doing and and separating some of the issues versus check, this whole thing was an issue. No this thing that maybe led you to do it, but not the whole, you know, going out with your friends once in a while. I mean, as long as you guess. You and your husband eventually agree on that. And it told you, then fine toe. Hide it from your kids, Your kids with that out. Like nothing e Mama. I went to the room and you? I saw the car drive away. Where were you? Don't know and then leads to a lie. You know, just those things were just messy. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Nicole, For for this would you Do you have anything else that you'd like to add as a way of encouraging listeners, Like even knowing your own experience, growing up with triplets, a brother who was just a little bit older. And you said a little hard times and life slaps you in the face. And honestly, life still slaps us in the face even when you know we way find something that we believe in. And and life can be tough daily Even if you You said money is not really a problem. And you have this and that and the other. But still like you. Look at people in Hollywood. They seem like they have it all, but we all know they don't is still life crumbles and is crumbling. So do you have some encouragement you can offer to my listeners about work in general or just how they can perceive their work through life? I think, um and we didn't talk a lot about my back story, but just just from from the way I grew up and to where I am now, um, I think I would say you just you never know like, where life is going to take you. I think if you can just be confident and flexible enough that if things change and if a new door opens or ah, window closes if you are, you know, flexible enough and confident enough and trusting. And for me, God, for whoever else is listening your higher power. Um, I think, um, I think you'll make it. And I mean, if anyone's Consejo that they've made it, made it. And I think I've been one of those people who've been through a lot in life and, um, you know, you just never know. You never know where life's gonna lead and I'm not just trusting and yeah, being confident And yeah, I think that would be the best thing. Yeah. E interviewed a friend from high school. I interviewed a friend from high school and she used this word So it's not gonna ever leave me. And it's just a word like especially is an architect like linear. So from a to B, I think a lot of us get so caught up in the idea that and it's pretty, it's proposed to us. It's purported to us. It Z kind of promised to us that if you do this stuff, you will get to hear, you'll get from a to B and nobody's life is linear. But every child that gets off of the childhood life into the adult life, that's a big generalization. But the idea is that we all hope it will be regardless of how much we hope it will be. Like a Corona will hit, a war will hit a cancer will hit, someone will die. A friend will. You'll lose a friend. People break up. You have these emotional problems. You have these physical problems, and nowhere is that part of the real plan. And I think as long as we can realize that, and this is what I believe you're saying is as life happens, bond, most of the times that affect us it's not like, Oh, this year I won the lottery. Next year I won a free trip to Rome and guess what? All my best friends came over and live with me, and we didn't fight. It's not like one wonderful thing after another. It's never that way. It's one mishap, one mistake, one horrible thing, one tragedy after another. And those are...

The things I think you're alluding to is that we need to trust that it's okay, right? And as tragic is losing a mother. Tragic is abusive relationships or whatever trying asse hard as it is to find the good in it, to find something good and what good can come out of it. Even if it is, you said, mentioning how trusting your try your higher power that there is something good that will come out of it for you, even if the worst. If you lose everything and at least you can give some advice to somebody else of what path not to follow because of the mistakes you have made. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah, And just getting up a verse that I just I even have tattoos. The Bible verse I have tattooed on my leg. Romans 8. 28 God, we know that God works through all things for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose. And, um, there's a little bit more that goes on with that. But the thing that I have come toe learn and accept about that is it's gotten me through a lot through. I didn't mention this before, but I was I mean, I was paralyzed when I was nine. So, like getting through that getting through, you know, being homeless, getting through. Yeah, I wasn't abusive. Relationship getting through Move seven moves in the military like it is sometimes devastating, leaving friends that you've come to know and love and trust for like, three years, you know, and then moving and then, you know, losing my mom. But like seeing the good and all of that and choosing to get up every day and just face the day, Um I think is powerful. How can people reach you Nicole Fortner. If someone wants to reach you, whether it's for your business or home schooling or how to be a stay at home wife for the military, or they just want to connect with you because they have some similar interests. I got Facebook. I got instagram. I got email. Um, do you want me to stay those out loud right now? You can If it's up to you, I'll find some of them and link them into the YouTube channel is well, as, uh, when it goes on the podcast host one final question to call Fortner. Why do you work? Uh, why do I work? Um because I have to I don't know, Like it just e Why do you work perfectly? E don't know. It's because it's who I am. So I work because of who I am. So I can't dio I couldn't do teach teaching. I couldn't do being a wife, I couldn't do being among if it wasn't for who I am and so I work for because of who I am. But I work for just the benefit of my Children and my family and my husband and the people around me. So if I wasn't doing what I was doing, then I don't think not that God can't do great things. But I don't think that, you know, my kids would be learning the way they're learning, And I wouldn't be affecting women's lives the way that I'm affecting women's lives. And I wouldn't be the wife to my husband that I am. And so, um, it's a choice to I am. And I just have Thio. Well, Nicole Fortner, I know you and I know that with three Children being a military wife, a wife of the beloved Clifford Fortner having a retail business and all of our own imperfections if we push those aside that you are doing a great job like you to know that you are appreciated across the world over in South Korea and you met and make a lot of friends very happy by who you are gonna dio which do not be discouraged. And it is discouraging every day because we look at ourselves and we see how far, far we're falling short. But we can trust that all things do work together for good. To those who called according to God's purpose and I appreciate you, Nicole Fortner and thank you kindly. And I hope to speak...

...to you very soon Again. Yes, yes. Thanks for having me. Thank you for listening to this episode of why we work with Brian V. Be sure to subscribe, Follow and share with others so they too can be encouraged in their work. E hope that you have yourself a productive, joyful day in your work. Mhm.

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