WhyWeWork BrianVee
WhyWeWork BrianVee

Episode 12 · 1 year ago

#5 Mijin The Artsy Housewife

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

MiJin Kim Lee talks about the difficulties in being a housewife during trying times and her love for art and painting talents. Check her out on FB @ https://www.facebook.com/lee.mijinkim

Welcome to why we work, with your host, Brian V as. He speaks to people like you from all over the world as we together dive deeper into our motivations, struggles, joys, seemingly missteps, hopes, warnings and advice which will be an encouragement to us all to get up, get going and keep on working. Working is tough, but working is good. Now here's your host to why we work, Brian Ving, and you are with Brian V at why we work. And today we have the wonderful pleasure of speaking to Kim Mejian, also known as Lee Kim Mejian, or Mejan Kim Lee, Aka my sister in law. How are you doing today, me Jan? We well, how are you? I am doing wonderfully well. Thank you for your willingness to do this. I think we might address one reason why you might be able to do this so easily in a moment. But can you tell us a little bit in know, in terms of work, a little little bit about you, who you are, where you came from, where you're what you're doing nowadays or in your experience with work? Okay, my name is the meeting Kim Lee and I'm so I need to tell my my age as with. You can if you like. You don't have to. You're younger than me. I know that. I'm I'm the Mishop, thirty nine years old. I think you're young. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you. Yeah, and I have a three year boy and I have a husband who's in state now and I'm visiting my mom, or for my sister, the Senord and my grandma's senior. So try to help my mom here. And Yeah, I guess. Sorry, yeah, I did. I was gonna say. So you're in quarantine here in Korea because you you usually live in the United States with your husband and as some people know that your sister tragically passed away a couple weeks ago and unfortunately, as you came here to come just to comfort your family, your grandmother died in the meantime and unfortunately you are in quarantine and you couldn't really be involved with any of that. Yeah, yeah, where did you? Where did you grow it's very unfortunate circumstance and I think that is when people work. So in the idea of work, people often, in when we treat other people, fail to realize that other people are going through things. So if there's someone that you're not getting along with at work, you may not be real realizing that that person has a whole other life outside of work that we may forget and we may overlook and fail to appreciate that this person may have a lot of stress going on in their life. Can you, maybe even now, I guess is a good time to mention it? Can You? Can you address or speak to some of the stresses and difficulties that you've been going through over the last couple weeks in trying just to maintain a regular life while at the same time dealing with something that has is upset the whole family?...

How is that working for you? Is it? Is it? It's not easy. Kissed to. I am just I was, I was I being away from my my Korean family, or let the eight years almost. It wasn't been that long, pasipen. Yeah, he's already well, so it's been that long, lady, and I was. I was able to be visiting here twice, but there was only the couple of months and last time I visited only about for for my mom. It was only couple Roman nights on me and and I did not have time. You know, you're interacting with my younger sister who just passed away so much. It was only a couple of hours, HMM, not even stay at night, you know. And last time I visited and I did not, I was not able to core her or text her when when I was in the state with my family in the state. Yeah, and this happened. So I'm just feel like just I'm just really sad that I was not able to be around her. She was able to. I'm glad that so him was able to be with my older sister, Mirah, and you guys and my mom. But when I see the past with so hun and it's a it's a lot said. It's really said for me that that I'm realized I did not have so much time to really talk to her or to to keep her any comfort I or I could let her know like I was. I was not able to let her know that I was paying for her, even though I was. I couldn't do it. And now she's gone, so I can not tell her, you know, physically and facetoface and person in person. So it's really sad. So how for for you and it's tragic. I don't want to go too far down that road with with you in and I think will get to it in your daytoday, things that you do. So you were, you were in Texas not long ago and now you're here and you're by yourself, mostly with your with your son and with covid nineteen. And how how is this to deal with being by yourself and even being so far away? And the reason you're your state side is because of work, right, like with your husband and maintaining your family. And that is what many people experience right whether you're from one country and your husband is from the same country but you're from a different town. So you guys choose, someone chooses to move somewhere, there's always going to be a separation. How how is that like? I know what you're going through now is is very difficult, but just being in a different place. And then now we have covid but the reason you're there is because you guys need to make money, you need to live, you need to survive. How do you find that on a regular basis without the tragic event that you're also experiencing? So when you're in Texas and then even now in what they call quarantine, like even right now you're in quarantine in your mum's house and you're not allowed to go by your mum...

...that much, like you have to stay like a certain feed away. So that's this is going to be a two weeek or deal. And you came to visit we. You came to visit we lucky in a room, and then you're in Texas and you're you know, if your husband's not around, then it's just you. So how is that? And and how can you maybe encourage people what they can do with their time? So it's not so bad. Yeah, it's just for really word pandemic and it we cannot do anything about it. So it's really difficult for many people. Like I am dealing with it. It's really same thing to everybody. So for me, I just try to find something that I can do, like really small things, like my job is in now. I'm just I'm a I'm a house light. Never, never say just. It's kind of a habit. But it's not just a housewife. It is a very important job. House why? I mean I think of it. Think of it. I've been making money. Do you think is yeah, do you think it's easy? It's not easy at all. Right, so not just a housewidel right, it's a lot of work. So then we all know that and we kind of habitually, we inhabs. Oh, just a housewife, but there's a lot of work that goes into it and it's never off of your mind. So it's not just a housewife. You are a wife, a mother. I mean your sister write, you're a daughter, but you're a mother who's taking care of another human being on a very regular basis. So it's very important. You know, if you were just if you were just attending, I would say a tree, but even a tree as like if you were just at watching a telephone pole, you can say I'm just a telephone pole watcher. Right, that that would constitute that would be a good reason to say just but your job is very important. All people who have any awareness of the values of the value of mothers know that a housewife is it's one of the most important positions a person can hold and it never ends. Right, yeah, thank you. Well, but it's true. But yeah, but it's true, and we offer we forget it. Right. Many people, I think, Think, Oh, well, I'm not making money, you know, I just stay home, or look at those successful women. Look what they have, look what they're doing, and there's nothing wrong with getting a job and all of that, but it's very important position. So you were saying, you were saying that you are in Texas and you are a housewife, and I was just doing what I was doing, like to just everything the same. May Try to make it make the appartment kind of like a sanitize all the time. Yeah, so, so philly cannot be safe in my husband's gonna be safe as well, HMM, and try to prepare some food, try to provide some nice, clean clothes. I was just doing the same thing I do and but it was it's not easy. It's not easy with the covid nineteen, hmm, because usually read oubt a covid nineteen at or like last year. What I was doing is there was always my husband to help to do some grossery, like I thought I have to go to the SAM's Club, and he was there for, you know, little as system for me, because they there's a burke is stuff and those are heavy. Yeah, and he was always dying here to lift the things...

...things for me. And now it's like the Kobed and Phillip. Does he feel it? Did Not want to wear the mask at or at world at at any time at all. So we could not take him. So it was me the grocery and all the house estential stuff. So it was a little more work, but it was working anyway, because when I could not get on sleep through night and in the morning, my husband would help what to Philip. So it was a helping like it was a helping method, the leader in between each other, me Jiant what I did switching gears a little bit. Do you? Do you remember, when you were younger, your first job? I don't mean how do you remember? Is a long time ago, but I also want to say what we're first job. Yeah, what was your very first job? I think, as long as I remember, it was a teacher, because I teacher. Yeah, I met you and it must have been two thousand six h correct and at that time you were a math teacher. It was a math teacher, but even before that I was I was a teacher for art, like little ones. I feel it lead fit Philipps is like did it an academy? Yeah, like a leader Academy. I was doing. I was like sick on like a assist on subscute teacher, as this classroom that cless room has like twenty, fifteen to twenty children in it and it was alway six years old. And because those many more towards many Kiddos with one one teachers really hemp for so there was always sub teacher had to be availuable to help her. So I was a subteacher. Yeah, that's my I think that. Maybe it was the moon. It was on other job, I don't remember it. I think that was the first time. How old were you when you became an art teacher? was about like twenty four, something like that. Can Can? Are you able to? I mean now you've lived in the United States for eight years and I'm not sure if you have spoken to other Americans or people that you've met about their job experience, but what do you know now about the difference between Korea and say, a North an American or Canada, Canadian culture, where you're saying you're very first job was at the age of twenty four. So maybe I did. I think maybe I did something. I really part timeed up like clan all. I had one for me. No, no, it was about to any one. It was too long ago. It was about twenty one, two years, years or than I was cleaning the bar. Yeah, it's a beer bar, but I did not work that work for that. It was only for from one. You're working in a bar. Yeah, those are good jobs, though, if you forget them, you remember some things, you learn some difficulty. Sure, I who got yeah, but there was the time. Yeah, I did that. Yeah, the bar. What is the reason? I kind of know the reason, but not for you. But in Korea, why is it normal for a twenty one year old, twenty four year old to get their first job or not to get a job until that's that's a normal thing. Correct. Yeah, it's a normal thing and it's getting more more...

...common because the the school tuition fee is really expensive and they have to many Obo those students. They have they have to have student loan and they have to pay almost right away, like when they get the wrong and they have to pay the from the next month. Yes, so what are you saying is normal? What what are you saying is normal? It's because it's there are there are lots of laits people, but there a are lots of not lates paper too. So, but are you saying getting having a job in your S, your first job, is becoming more normal? So what I'm what I'm suggesting, is my experience, unless you're rich. But yeah, even rich is worse. In what I'm referring to. In Korean culture, most students do not have a job until they're twenty something, right? Is that that's act? Is that not accurate? Is that not true? It's yes and no. I think it's yes. And so do you know many people who have gotten their first job when they're twelve, thirteen, fourteen and up? Not that. Yeah, not that. Yeah, so that in my ex yes, sorry, what? No, no, yeah, in twenty something it's camp more common. Yeah, more common. Yea. So in America and Canada it's and I was speaking to someone who lived in France and some other places and they had jobs when they are fourteen and fifteen. So I'm like I said, I didn't know if you would have talked or spoken to anyone in the United States, but if you you do, start asking them when did you first get your job, because I think you'll find many people get a job when they're younger. Yes, in Korea it's just something a little bit later. I think it's just the focus is you need to study ide yeah, right. And so, yeah, yeah, education is top priority and experiences not priority. Yeah, so you went to university then. What did you take? What did you take in university? Well, my you mean my subject? Yea main subject, your mean, was a art linked art. Why did you get it? Why did you get into art? It's turn is what turned your attention to art, because I didn't know it is study. Migratee were not really nice and I have a little I had a little bit of a talent, one painting, okay, and and so my mom was able to she was trying to find a way for me to get into get get into Kali's. That's the only way I could get into college through, because I will not be able to Oh, not of behavior to get another way because if it's art, then my my grade was not it did not have to be that high, you know. So I have a I have a painting skill and some of the grade. So my school great test grade and I can go. I can go to the university. It's yeah, Uh Huh. It's it's funny to me because you say, AH, because my grades weren't good, but not, not everyone can get into art school with with bad grades. So what you the...

...reason you got in is because you had a talent. Yeah, made of it, oppell, yeah, but not. But not everyone has that talent right. So if it's if a student does poorly in high school, they can't say, okay, I'm gonna go be an artist right or I'm going to enter art school. They just can't do it based on having poor grades. So trying not. I would suggest, try not to undercut yourself. Do you know any? Don't. Don't put your don't put yourself down, like Haha, my I couldn't do anything else in life, so I just went to art school and graduate it. And I know where you are right now and I would, but I know where you are, so you can't do it. To show the massive of painting on your parents wall. That is probably. What how big is that? Like six feet by five feet or like. It's it's it's massive and it's a very nice you do a lot of Korean cultural painting, is that? Is that accurate? Yeah, that what you like to do best. If I could right now, yeah, if I can, I want to do it so I can use what would you like to do? If I mean any job if there's no complete satisfaction in it, and I don't think any job has complete satisfaction. People pick up a hobby, people do something that brings them some sort of satisfaction to balance out the rest of their life. What is it that you do besides taking care of your child or taking care of your husband? What do you do to help give you some satisfaction, my son, for yourself, what do you like to do for yourself? Well, like to do, like to do, and what do you do? Right? There's you know, I like to play basketball, but I rarely ever play basketball. HMM. You know, honestly, I don't do it really now. What Hey, but Idet, I used to do a lot of paintings and I tried to sell them. HMM. And I met this American lady from this the church, and she was trying to Publish her little story book, The children on the story book, and she wanted to find some painter, huh an illustrator, the illustrator for me and for her book, and she liked my painting so much and so I worked for her. Eats paper. It's painting I drew. She paid some about like twenty subtlenamember it and she she she paid for me and I worked for like about a month and it was really enjoy we're doing it it. It's a lot of work. I had to do like drawing first and then I have to paint. Yeah, I had have to do the sketch and I have to deep paint again, and it was like processful eats paper, but I was really enjoying okay, so why do why do you not do that on a more regular basis? I think it's just my laziness, honestly. Well, I can do it, but only I'm so exist today. So maybe tomorrow, baby, tomorrow. So, I mean, you never got a ten what about having yourself like a sketch book nearby always, you know, obviously out of the reach of your son, but just something handy or, you know, in a couple of...

...rooms and just practice sketching and then when you find something you want to do, that process just it's I find there's always helpful things that we can do to change the routine and then it doesn't seem so routine for us. Yeah, so with your job, I mean even with with raising my nephew Philip, what do you do on a daily basis? Generally not, not now so much, but it's probably some of it overlaps. What would be a typical day without covid not locked in and with your three year old? He's three now, right, three year old son. What's a typical day for people who don't have children and for people who remember why they don't have any more, or for children or for parents who are looking to have children? What would that look like for you on a regular basis, regular basis without the Colby? So it's a hold on, my friend. To me. You might be, it might be there might be soul lady. So if you don't know and you go and corn team the government for you on a regular basis and tell you or make sure that you have not left the home, we are all witnesses that she has not left the home and she is locked down in an apartment. Was that WHO it was? Or what was it? You don't have to tell me. Was it the government? No, I'm not sure what it is. I'm not answering. I don't know. I'm not going to end. Okay, don't don't get in troubles. Daily, basic, regular basis, lego basis, with three year old, without Kobe, without taking him outside, take him to work, will caused by take him to places. Like I was attending the Korean church every Wednesday. So I have a service there and Philip can play with it with the other children in a small play room in that church and we have luncheon and stuff. I was doing that. I take him to the more tick in to places to let him play and let him mess some other people, take him to the park and here that about at home. What do you do at home on a regular base? Ours is cook and Creamanky, Ookay, quick and clean. Fits fit the boy, fit the boy, if it is because he's either it's with the great either any more days. So I had to feed him. Need to make sure he's been fed. I'm doing that and to try to take care of my own I gotta take I gotta pick on my husband. If it's no coby that or I had to drop my husband off at school and pick him up at about five or six PM for for end over the day and have the dinner and have some family time. And that's what I did also me Jan your you mentioned I was thinking of it. Then you mentioned picking up and dropping off. You you took it upon yourself. I don't know why. Maybe you can tell us. You learned how to drive at you're not. You're not old. But when did you learn how to drive and when did you get your license for the first time? It was when I was pregnant. Yeah, I before what I get pregnant. I had a permit and I got the I got the license after Phillips go on until it was about about or about a year ord. They took about the exture time. I get the license from the permimit...

...took about six months because I did not really practice so much. But in one month, once I started the practicing with my husband and Philip, my back seat was it took me one month to get the license done. So only two years ago, right, two years ago, so thirty seven or so, based on you saying your age. So thirty seven. You took it upon yourself to learn in not not only did you learn how to drive in another country, but you'll learned how to drive in another language. Yeah, right, that's a pretty good thing, isn't it? And I think so. Thank you. But why? Why did you do that? What what gave you the the drive, the motivation, the determination to learn something in a second language? Obviously you learned English enough to understand, but you're still doing it in the second language. What? Why did you do it? Why did I why did I get the license? You know, well, that was you don't have a Korean license, right. That was your first license. Main reason I did not get the license in Korea was the coast. The main reason it was really cost here, way more close to them now then I was trying to get I was really searching it and the pore quote tour price was a little, little bit too much for me to pay. Korea was too expensive. Uh Huh, because I paid in in America. I paid twenty five dollars to take the readden test, the computer test and the driving test was only thirty five, so less than hundreds. I finished it without any tuition. Fe at work, okay, I bought a book, I downloaded some APPS, but there was not much. But in Korea I had to pay about like two thousand dollar, more than thousand, almost two Tho. I could not afford so I didn't do it. And the second reason why I didn't was I was always busy with my work, kind of with me. You can't be excuses, but I had to work during the day like a doing, like I start work at one o'clock until like ten pm all the time, every day. This is in Korea. As a teacher, I was a stinger, so I could do it, but the coast was too high and you know, the time wise was not easy for me to get it. And when I even got married with my husband, he suggested me to get the license in America because the process is easier than Korea and you know, the the tuition, fees and and stuff was a lot less than Korea and I knew I was going to go to core America to leaving. They are so I didn't. I didn't think I would have gone. I would I was gonna need Korean license at or by the time. So I didn't think about it what. So as a as a stay home mom, what what is the biggest difficulty, the biggest stress, the the biggest heartache? Maybe disappointed disappointment that you have as a stay home mom. It's sometimes I feel like a little fail failure some on socializing, you know, peeper, I can still meet the people from Church, I can core people sometimes, but it's like it's not the bay daily...

...basis. So I feel a little I feel like a little isolated. That's one of the difficulties and the second is way before you get to the second one. Who Do you feel you're a failure too? To whom? To who are you? Yeah, who you failing? Compared to other people? Who would? WHO's it? What? Working mom? They they have a job, so they go to places, they go to their job, they go to their work and and they emit people there and so they have a like some sort of relationship without their your husband's and their children. But I did not that. So I feel like because I like people, I like talking to a new paper, I like to make friends and I always had some friends in when I was in Korea, and it's kind of like a little lucked because I'm always watch differently. So it was a little difficult that their part, was a little difficult her. And the second is it's a it's a financially by it's financially a little difficult. It's not because when I was making my own money, I was able to do my own stuff very you know, really, I can do it if I want to buy this and just FY, but right now it's it's our money, but it's my husband's making money, and I feel like, you know, why should I say? Do you know what I mean? I know the same. I make the money, but it's not my money too. I don't. I don't have that ability. I'm lucky, as you say, credit, to get some pocket money. You know, I'm lucky to get that. And not only am I lucky to get the wiener, lucky if I get to keep it. Sometimes it's it's taken away right. So yeah, I under I understand that as well. And Yeah, that is that does a point. And another one. The last one is I feel like I don't have by any I can have a like a well now or thirty minutes my free time for myself. But even though I had my free time, I see the I see the work to be done when I'm staying hmm, like because I'm seeing home. I'm a mother and I'm a wife and I'm a I'm a housewife, and I see things that I have to do, like cleaning, cooking. It's really daily basis. It's every hour I can see thing. So I have a break, but it's not a break. Is Only because of only because we're family and I live in Korea. Do you think that is? Is it a motherly thing, a hundred percent, or is it a cultural thing? A hundred percent or a little bit? Is it like just a family thing? Because my dear wife, she would laugh. Your sister will will not sit still. If home right and if something is out of place, it needs to be fixed or there's no operation, there's no moving around, there's nothing this. This has to be done. So is that a woman I'm trying? This is my life question. Like, is it just a woman thing that I just will never, ever, ever get and understand right? Or is it just cultural or just family? But...

...not a perture? It's not the culture, it's not the mother, it's just the personality thing. Okay, like character. I'm not really clean to compare Meta, as you know mail, but it's just maybe it's a little bit woman thing. But I see other my my other friends whose mother two or three some people, they just keep up the cleaning. Well, that's what I mean. I think that that's a good way to do it. I like some people like no, I am going to walk away, it is not going anywhere. The laundry will be there when I come home, or it will. It will be okay for another day. I don't have to pick that up. So some of it is doing it. You and I, and I think everyone does it like have to get this done. It's just the the way of my step, I think, because if I see, if I see the third one flow where I have to pick it up, but when my husband sees it, he just walked by and my friend says it and he's by you. It's defense, in defense of all men everywhere. It doesn't mean it doesn't mean we don't have anything. Maybe we are gonna go save the world. We just didn't see the song right. We're doing something nice. I have Korean friends who has two children. I have American friends who has two or three children. Some lady she just does she does the laundry, the laundry like once a week. Yes, Bravo, not touching untier on tier the time she would do it on the weekend only and then she will never touch it. You know, and other go ahead and other families, other women, mothers and other other mother and she has two children and her husband is deployed, so she's watching two children to full time and she's also student. So she she doesn't touch cleaning stuff during the day. Al You have not touching. She can't. She's in letting the children doing things whatever. She will not pick up the toys and she will. Unless it's really pink mess, should not pick it up, and she my mom did the same thing. My mom did the same thing. We had laundry day like once a week and you didn't have my mom was too busy doing other things. She wasn't going around picking up after me. If what my mom would do if I left, think she would throw it out, but she wasn't going to clean up after me. And it's teaching a lesson. Right. If you have some husband who's gone away that meet you know that your husband was gone away for, you know, four periods of time and school and stuff. You're overwhelmed. So to not say, listen, I don't have to do the laundry, I don't have to pick up everything because it's going to be okay. There has to be a balance there somewhere. Hmm, I wish I can be a little bit over that way. I'm trying to beat that way so that I am not going to my husband because I go crazy and my husband it's gonna go crazy because I looked that so that it's not just I've it's just yeah, and I'm not explaining why I'm upset. This be well I think it's sometimes hard for us to explain why we're upset, like I said before, with, you know, covid on top of family issues, on top of this, and the money and job and insecurity and just a bad day, and it mixes all in and then we're like and it's not, it's not the thing right,...

...it's something else. So okay, those things stress you out. What is what is a joy that you have? What is a joy that you have found in what you do on a regular basis? It's when I when I like when I see the rephrads later and I see some ingredients and I make some you know, like a little meal plan for the day, and I make something. Then my family it's really well and happy about it. Then I'm happy. You know, the more things that makes me happy. Anything. Does it make sense? No, make the sense. I just want to interrupt you. In a wholesome, perfect thing. I understand when you make something, just as a mother, just as a mother, I'm I'm also trying to teach my son like Korean, try to teach him hunger, especially in America. I speaking only Koreans and he's he's now, he's now learning a lot more and he makes clear sentence in Korean and he knows all he has. He knows all I have to speak in Korean to my Mama and well, I need to speak in English my Papa. So then makes me go get that is that is hard work and we experience it too. What do you think? What do you think about parents who speak two different languages, whether it's friend or Spanish or whatever? It is the importance of continually speaking two different languages, because I know some people who say, oh no, we're not going to teach them this language, even though they know it. They're just going to stick to one. Do you have a preference? Which? What do you think is best? Oh, when I compared to my my mother in law, she she she's a Filipino, so she knows how to speak that look. Yes, but she she never thought any of her own language to my my husband or my sister yesterday in law. Yeah, she they don't speak any of it, and I feel I feel a little said that they don't know that language. They miss that opportunity. She was insisting she was a she was not wanting to teach them. I don't know why, but yeah, and do you think it's difficult to teach them? I mean, is it difficult to teach or is it just something you have to be consistent about? You know way, it's a you know way. It's a difficuler to teach them. Is it any more difficult than teaching them the one language? Yeah, for them to understand in a at the be uni I was speaking Korean, yeah, and English. When when the other my my other partner, my my husband or the other hub is not speaking person, like not, we talk deep person and then the child is not really observing the same amount, because I was a more talking person then my husband. Yeah, I still see that in Korea to yeah, yeah, so I am. I am more speaking to my son then my husband does. So he's still learning, but he's English. Is a little here and they're like really jumping. Yeah, but he's Korean, the really state, you know. Yeah, he'll get it. Consistent. Yeah,...

I think you. Yeah, you'll get he's getting on the yeah, I know he's getting but still, I've just as a mother. Okay, you has a Korean mother, you need to learn it now. You need to be doctor her he kee Korean mother. To See my son. I just want him to learn really balanced compellents. Well, like English about this much and Korean has to be this dame a month. But it's if his Koreans about fifty percent, then he's English about like a dirty person. So it's not really making me had P. I'm glad, but it's yeah, he's three, I know, I know, I'm just so they don't start talking until they're too usually, you know, he has some time. What what is something that you would like maybe father's to understand, share with other mothers would understand, or women who do not have children, just some people looking in on your life as a stay home mom? What would you like them to understand more about what you do for a father? Well, if you want, well, if, if, if, you could tell the whole world about your job as a mom and as a wife that stays home. What would you like them to know the most? It whether it's something difficult, something hard. You would just like to know this is something you. You wish they appreciate it you more. For what? What would you like someone or everyone to know about the role that they don't understand about being a stay home mom? What do people I think every mom, every mom has, has their value, whether it's working mom or staying home mom, because some working mom is talking about the staying home mom a little under grade and other, some, some other staying home mom create their other you know, working mom is on their grade as well, because when they are saying about staying home mom, under great, they're like, Oh, you, you don't have a career, so you're when you say undergrade. Sorry, when you say undergrade, you mean undervalued, not value. Yeah, UND okay. So when they were comparing themselves to staying home mom, there they probably say, they kind of say you don't have a career. So in the future, right now it's okay with your with the little ones, but in the future, when your son or daughters see you that you don't have a job, then they will not really, you know, like it, or they will they will not really dispect you, you know, say it's something like that, and other other like like staying home mom. Like me, they're saying about their working months. Oh you don't spend your time with your your children on when they need to be spent. So your children just gonna have some problem with their growth or personality development. Yeah, yeah, development or education or problems gonna have. So side turn your torn on both...

...sides. So, whether you stay mom, you're a problem, you're yeah, I think every mom has their value and they did you hear that noise? Yeah, that noise is from my phone, the covid nine. Oh, yes, mine just went now. Actually, there goes public safety message. Please wash your hands, wear masks and keep two meters from everyone. Thank you very much for your public service announcement. I didn't know what it was. I thought that's so wash my hands. Okay, I know it's a little over reacting, little to thank you. Yes, it is little too much. Give me something important, like dropping bombs on me from North Korea or something not. Ye, so that is the message. You like them. Well, what is the message, though? So you kind of explain you the view old mother is moved. It's the most important thing to be in the word, I think. And for the children, whoever, whoever WHO's working, mom were not, it's also important. They all of their cheers run. MMM there. Yes, that's the that's the point. Yeah, HMM, that's what I want to say to or my point. So it doesn't matter what you're doing. Yeah, what, you can make mistake, like I always make mistake. It's it's mom cannot be mom from the beginning. So mom's running to yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't wish annual. I always ask things to Mera. I always, I think, to me, I and you. So I always feel like I'M A, I'm A. I'm not really ready mom yet, but I'm already mom. So I heard a man one say, and I think he's a respected man of sorts and somewhat of a noble man. I think that. I think he said he had four daughters and they were maybe teenagers by that time and he was reflecting and he said, do you know what, with the one of the first one, as he looked at them, he said, do you know what I realized about having these four children? And may have been five? He said, I have no idea what I'm doing. Yeah, right, and that's teenage. He has four children, their teenagers. So for fifteen, twenty years, whatever, nineteen years, he was a father and no one knows what they're doing. I don't you know. We're trying like do you work, do you not work? Do you put them in this school, do you put them in that school? Do you feed them this? You don't feed them this? Do you take them outside? Do you keep them inside. Do you let them watch a screen? How much screen time do you let them watch? Like? There's no written rules and we certainly don't want laws. Sorry, I have to answer this one. I think it's from though it's a government. They just message. There's my wife. Yeah, is that my wife? For the sorry, well, what I was past about it. But, Bob, just once I'm going to Mumble, just so you don't hear, just in case someone says something very important and hopefully it's good news. Just one second, just one seconds, I'm gonna I'm going to mute her. Okay, there, I just muted her. So that's my dear wife phoning her sister. Are you okay or you're not? Okay, I muted here. I can edit this out. Okay, I mute. Okay, you're okay. That was that...

...my dear wife. Yes, okay, we don't need to know what it was. I think that's a good message, median, wanting people to understand that, whether you're working mom or not working mom, it's all new to us, even if we have four children, because every day presents itself with new challenges. But to understand that, to the best of our ability as a mom, you love your child or you love your children and your try and not all parents love their children well, but what you're saying is you do love your son and you want the best for him. Began, you mentioned the word future. In the futures, there something that you would like to do, like a job, field or dinner top in job work. Yeah, I want to get a like a I don't want to get a full time job, but I want to be on the job fuield and he's going to Squirre like be pretty kate. Yeah, when he's about to be forty or world and the COVIDA is really cleared up, then I want to get a any job, any job. There's nothing in particular that you would like to particular? Yeah, it's just the any I want. I want to start from the part time job, but I want to do some you know, work. What if, if, would you consider being hired for your paintings? Do you do? You advertise your paintings on facebook or instagram or twitter or anything like that? I have done it, but they say, Oh, it's pretty, what they don't want to pay for it. It'll Wollo. Yeah, well, how can it? Was it so pretty and it's it so well where could people find you if they want to look at your work? Did you? Do you take pictures of it and display it on instagram? Do you have an instagram account? I don't. You should. I should. Would you? Should you need to make up a name for it? And and how can people contact you if they wanted to contact you about your artwork? Right now? I can use the facebook. Okay, it's thank you. Write my number on okay, so well, I wouldn't know if you want to give your number on facebook. But yeah, facebook. What is your name on facebook? It's meeting Himley, meeting Kimley. Is it meeting Him Lee? Or do the there is the there is they? Actually, I have a like a sailing facebook or can page? You have a page on facebook? Like them page? Yes, yes, Oh, I'm not. I'm not using that anymore. No one was really interested. Well, as the as a Gary v would say as well. How much do you post about it? How much do you tell people about it? One page, one one piece of work, what's about five to ten dollar? But how often do you promote it? How often do you show people how? I know I'm not doing it. Or if you stop us, do you know why? McDonald's and Nike and and Cocacola do well because they're advertised everywhere and that's what we know. So when people start seeing your thing and they see your advertising it, they're going to know. They'll know more. If you don't do anything, no one's gonna know because it will get lost and infamy. So, median Kim Lee, you can be found on facebook, yes, and you will make up a probably instagram account. Instagram is more of pictures of things that your own work free, so you can create it and then post your pictures and say I can sell...

...it to you and send it to you. Easy peasy. Right. It gives you something, no problem. What is some final advice, even whether you're referring to your own job, working experience, whether you're referring to meaning your teaching positions and art, or referring to being a mom, what is some advice that you have for people who work or looking to work or feel discouraged about their work? What kind of advice do you have right now? is a because of Kobe nineteen, getting a job and maintained the job is not really easy. Book. Keep trying if you're really wanting to get one and be positive. Is there anything else you would like to add, anything else that you'd like to say in this experience or thinking about work? I don't know, just that I think be positive, diligent, be diligent, be positive. So median, whether we're talking about art or a part time job or being a stay home mom. Why do you work? Work? Because Bible say we if you don't work and don't you don't eat. True, does. If a man don't work, a man don't eat. Yes, any satisfaction from it? Right now? My job is sorry. What did you say? Well, and also, is there any satisfaction you get from the work that you do? Hmm, keeps me going on the second day, sick the next day, keeps me being paying for me, I'm a mother and a life right now. So that keeps me that I have job the next day, and so I will do the same thing. In the difficulty that you're going through, as we talked about at the beginning, how important do you think it is to keep yourself busy so that you do not find that you're dwelling on past events or things that you cannot control? How important is it to keep on going? How important is it to keep things in your schedule to stay busy. If I don't do what I'm supposed to do with then I am not I'm not kept papover to two things. I don't know what I'm saying. Well, I think you're say not being productive. Yeah, right, being productive is making me myself. And does staying productive? Does that help you with dealing with difficult situations? Yeah, right. So, media, I thank you very much because I do know the difficult situation you're going through and I do want to encourage you to stay active, do some of those things that you enjoy doing in not only do the things you have to do, because sometimes, doing those things that we have to do, we forget why we're doing them and then that may even cause us to be a little bit more discouraged. So find some joy and some of the things you do, and we will see you soon when your quarantine is finished, which is next Wednesday, I believe. Yeah, long...

...from now you will be freed, like was it Lapinla Punzel, the Punzel freed from the captivity of the Castle, and we look forward to seeing you. And if Philip is not listening, in a little bit later, you can let him see Mama on Brian be at why we work. Thank you, me JI. Thank you. I talk to you later. Talk to later. Thank you for listening to this episode of why we work with Brian v be sure to subscribe, follow and share with others so they too can be encouraged in their work. I hope that you have yourself a productive, be a joyful day in your work.

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