WhyWeWork BrianVee
WhyWeWork BrianVee

Episode 3 · 2 years ago

#12 Frank King The Mental Health Comedian

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Writer for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Mental Health Comedian and Suicide Prevention Speaker and Trainer 858.405.5653 Frank King on TEDxTalk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeMg6...
 
 

Welcome to why we work, with your host, Brian V, as he speaks to people like you from all over the world, as we together dive deeper into our motivations, struggles, joys, seemingly Miss Steps, hopes, warnings and advice, which would be an encouragement to us all to get up, get going and keep on working. Working's tough, but working is good. Now here's your host to why we work, Brian V. I'm Brian V, and we are on why we work with Mr Frank King. Sir, thank you very much for coming. My pleasure. Thanks for having me actually from thank you. Thank you for taking me on this ride with you. Actually, I would say yeah, all the way to veterinarian. I probably need a couple of shots. Yeah, we have thirteen animals, three dogs, ten cats, so this is a I make this trip quite off. Where is home? You look like you're in the middle of a sunny day. They're yeah, unusual for this area of it not this month. I'm in Eugene, Oregon. It rained pretty much from September through May, but about July we get summer and that's that's where we are today. Sir, will you do me a favor and give me. This is about work. Right. We'll get into what you do specifically in a little bit, but how did your journey of work come about? When you were a lad? Oh, fourth grade, told my first joke in front of the entire class, made them laugh and it, as it turns out, made my teacher laugh really hard. I wasn't aware. She excuse herself the girl the Teacher's Lounge. She was afraid if she laughed in my face and break my heart. And then in high school, senior year, they had a talent show and nobody ever done to stand up. So I wrote a stand up bed and I won the talent Joe. My mom and sister I go to college. She said I could do anything I want to do after I got done. But she said her quote was you can be a goat hurt when you're done, but you're going to be a goat hurter with a degree. So I got two degrees, political science and one in Labor manager relations, and then moved to San Diego with my college high school sweetheart and in the in church business my first job out of college. My my wife's father were from the Church Company and I had very great difficult to getting a job. I interviewed on campus. Stay have a wonderful campus placement center at University North Carolina Chapel Hill. I interviewed seventy seven times literally, and no callbacks, no job offers. So my guess is a really good what they do and they looked at me and thought this guy's a clown and they are correct. That's did you not have a job all the way up until you start interviewing, or did you do any jobs? And Elementary School or Middle School at all? Had failed paper route in middle school. So funny. Yeah, I decide had no trouble delivering the papers. I just didn't really I just didn't like collecting the money. So my wife, I'm why, my mom, paid off the paper for a month. And I've interviewed three other people, including myself, and in this that we all had paper routes and they didn't really go that well. No, I had a friend, Paul Morgan, it was really good at it. I mean he had actually had a route and then somebody quit a route, so he took the route that you know connected to it. MM, and he has a little book and he was very good about collecting the money and anyway, that was my first job. Oh, actually, that was not my first job. Back in the day I worked at a little grocery store around the corner, a little market, and this is when they had soda bottles. So about bottle you know, returnable bottles or say do again now, yeah, but back then. So they had what was called a bottle boy. So I would have to take all the cook bottles and put them in grate stepsy bottles series, individual bottler, and I was I come up and then the guy would come by with the you know, with the fresh supply, and then collect the empties and I also, as part of that job, I swept up and I do a bag of few groceries. My dream was at a big old fashion cash ready Kare so bad, but you had to be sixteen, I think,...

...because I sold cigarettes and beer. Do you remember what your motivation was at that time to work in the bottling company or as a paper boy? was there a motivation, because you mentioned, I think you know you first went to the comedy part, but was there motivation to get the first job? was there something in particular that started you off? You know, I don't recall any sort of motivation. I knew the I knew the guy was quitting the job and they offered me the job and I just said, okay, I'll do the job. Yeah, and I enjoyed it. I said I was I was a bag boy and a bottle boy and I was looking forward to be in the cashier someday. So when you took your first laughs in grade four, was there an idea of something in this or you just what? Well, it was my teacher's idea. I had. I'm terribly near sighted. Everybody my family is. I wrote a joke one that we were descended from the people of the island of Myopia, Myopia which is near sighted, and on that island it was conquered over and over because nobody ever saw the end of becoming so. But I'm terribly vain. I was then, terribly vain, I'm terribly vain now. And they were talking in one thousand nine hundred and sixty two three and there were no fashion frames back then. Everybody had the black plastic buddy holliday kind of ray bands, actually very popular now, but back then, you know, and I didn't want to wear him, but I'm my teacher knew I had to. So now I was worried about four eyes if you make it fun of me. So in her into Wism, she got me to the front of the class. She turned me away from the class, put my glasses on me, turn me back to the class, figure and let's Yank the BANDAID. All, let's let everybody see frank in the same time. You know, he sentitize everybody's when I turned back to the class, she looked down at me and she said, see, you look intelligent, and I looked up at her and said yes, that would explain all the laughter. Yeah, and she excused herself to go the Teachers Lounge. Years later we bumped into each other the grocery store and I said, she goes. You know why I excuse myself? Frank I said, I have no idea. She goes out. The funniest thing a child ever said to me and I didn't. I didn't want to laugh in your face, so I had to excuse but that laugh, yeah, that's like heroin. Yeah, you know, you get that first hit. And and my family's funny. My Mom's funny, very witty, my sister's very witty and I was never the class clown, I was more the class wit. I would mumble things under my breath. The kids around me with laugh and they get in trouble and I get away with it. And then twelve grade I made the mistake of giving full throw and voice to my comedy. Are Our chemistry teacher, Mrs Tembleton, was late. She's also my home room teacher, never late. I believe now is an adult. She had a serious drinking problem because I had ever seventh paride as well and she was pretty cranky by that and I was close to the cocktail hour. But anyway, she was late. One of the kids said, well, it was temple the late. I pointed outside the FAG and said in a loud voice, well, look at the fall. Maybe she didn't give a clearance to land her broom. Oh No, yeah, she know, in landed. She taxed over the door. was standing right by as she cackled In't yeah. And I got a three day vacation for that. And then in college I didn't do any comedy. I just gon buckled down. Just want to get in and out. And then when we moved to San Diego with the interns company, my wife's father help me get a job and San Diego has a branch of the comedy store, the world famous comedy store on sunset, and then an amateur night over Mike night. And Man, I'd drive past that place and I can feel a magnetic poll. So I did what I advise beginning comics to do. Go to amateur night a couple of time. See How bad seventy five percent of the people are. They'll give you the curs to get up. So I did that and sure enough, they were horrible and I thought I'm not good just walking around, so I got up on my third dry. Yeah, I'm telling you, you got any of them, Mike, Anywhere about seventy four percent number just a horrible. So I got up and I got laughs and I heard inside my head your home, and my second thought was, I'm going to do this for a living. It's kind of a moment of clarity. I'm going to do this for a living. I have no idea how I'm going to make that happen. Yeah, but I'm going to do this for a living. That was April fools date, one thousand nine hundred and eighty four. Did you write anything during before that time of getting up on stage, like in your high school? Did you, like I'm going to write a few things down. Up until calmed I did a one in twelve grade where we're all...

...down. I never wrote another joke until I got San Diego. Okay, now I was funny in conversation, but so I cobble together five minutes for rope and Mike night about about moving from North Carolina to California, to the fish out of waters. Always a good premise. Touches Home Vigona people. Yeah, yeah, any time you move and you have discomfort. And I remember one joke, which was I grew up in North Carolina. The only Mexican food we had was Dorito's. I've never seen Guacamolie. I've never even seen an avocado. So I go to a cocktail party, I've got a chip in my hand, I'm headed down for the bowl for the dip and I look down just in time to stop and I'm hovering above this green goo and coases came running over. Frank, I know you're from North Carolini. You probably never seen that before. It's Guacamolie. It's good. And I said my punch line was yes, I bet it was the first time somebody ate it and yeah, and I had that that thought in my head, as I mentioned there. May Have mentioned that. You know, I'm home and second thought wasn't going to do it for a living. And then by by Christmas eighty five, I had booked ten weeks of professional comedy work on the road in clubs. There's a big comedy boom. Sorry about middle of the s and so you can frank. Sorry, you're married at this point? No, I have a girlfriend. Yeah, and I said to her, look, I'm going on the road. Do Stand up. How does she feel about that? I said, do you want to come along? And inexplicably she said yes, okay. So we put everything in storage. We could not fit into my tiny little dodge Colt. That probably helps you with material actually, wouldn't you say? Oh God, no, we're are gondis either. gave up our jobs, hit the road and I thought ten weeks was forever. You know, anyway, by a flash. But fortunately I've unlike most Comedians, I have a decent work at it and when I work my first week I did well enough that one of the guys I was working with had a club and DC washing DC, and he said we like the book. You know, I said that would make week eleven. That'd be great. And somewhere along the way, a year or so later, my girlfriend and I became husband and wife and we married thirty three years. That's wonderful. Well, we were on the road, speaking of work, from the day after Christmas eighty five to till Easter of ninety three, two thousand six hundred and twenty nine nights in a row, non stop. How how did she view your work ethic in not even so much in comedy? How did she see that you were really plugging at it? You were working hard, and that was you know that, because it can't be easy to be on the road, a couple on the road on a comedy. You know, you're not working in the Wei Mornings right late, yeah, late nights it was. We both thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a little, you know, a little difficult, but we were in our mid twenties, mid late s. You know, you pack up, hit the road and back then they put the comedians up and what's called a comedy Kundo three bedrooms. So I know I don't only worked with these COMEDIANS, we live with them for weever time. Yeah, Jeff Foxworthy and Dennis Miller and rose you o'donald Helen de generess and you know Kevin James and Adam Sandler and Seinfeld and you know anybody who was anybody back in the day. We were on the road working with them in those clubs and staying, you know, I'm staying in condos with him for a we from my poor wife, who was kind of like living in a front house because most of them are guys, but she's doing she said to me before we got married that she never wanted an ordinary life. Yeah, well, you wait for the joke was on here on that one. Yeah, and you know it's I was book when I came off the road end of that tour. I was actually booked a year ahead. That's how much of a work ethic I had. That I was you know, I was on the phone. Consus is back before cell phones. I was on the phone constantly getting work. So can you? And then, yeah, go ahead, and then I'm we're winning to radio. For a year and a half I got a job, but a radio station because in the mid s they were hiring comics to do morning shows and I got that. I caught that wave as well. Can you. I think this is applicable, in my question, to all types of work, not just comedy, but I think it's more in the spotlight with comedy. In some days people don't feel like doing their job, and for you not to...

...feel like doing your job is not funny. Know how difficult is it to be a comedian who you know from why? I have fights with my dear wife or you know I'm not I'm ill or something. But you got to get front stage, center and be funny, and that's applicable to all jobs. I think people just don't want to go to work today, but yours is like, okay, this is this is how you do it when you're a comedian. How, how difficult is that? Well, you know, with time and practice. There's a reason they call it acting. Yeah, because I got a phone call one night from a friend. My Mom was winding down, had cancer. I got a phone call from friend of the family and she said your mom passed away tonight. And the next thing I heard coach, Ladies and gentlemen, ways welcome and you know, you paste on the Grin and march through it like and I did wanting in Denver at a corporate engagement and a friend of mine was there watching me and he said I come off saide. You was hey, man, you want to go get a beer and I said I don't really feel but to like did you go? Better you go because Oh there, God, you're sack. It goes. But none of that, none of that showed up. Now they're how, I heck do you do that? And I said well, you know, they're very caring people, but they're here for show. It was corporate show, good money. They're very caring people. Hang on, put your back up on my bashboard. Sorry, guys, they're very you know, people are. People are, and if I said I'm look, I'm really sick, they would have understood. But you know, it's you know the old adage and show businesses. Show must go on. Yeah, so you just learned to work through it. And because you know, they paid for show and there's so a hundred people, there is darn good paychecks. Was a corporate engagement. So what do you now? You've morphed into something else, from what I know of you. So how did you transition from comedy to now you're doing? You're still incorporating your comedy, but into awareness suicide and other things like that. How did that happen? Well, you know, I when I was sound insurance from back in the day. Insurance. They're all about motivation. So I got to see all the great motivators back, you know, zig ziggler and Brian Tracy and those guys were they were in their prime and he's just sitting the eyes and think of myself, man, I could do that if I just had something to teach somebody. And so I cast about four years trying to figure out didn't have something, you know, and takeaways, learning objectives, able to set action it, and I could never figure out, you know, what I had to teach anybody. And then after came so close to killing myself in two thousand and ten and after the high of the recession, lost everything in a chapter seven bankruptcy and I learned what the barrel of my gun tasted like literally. And look the back of my family history. We have it's runs into family. My Grandmother, great aunt mother died by suicide. So it's called generational depression. And who is that? And I thought, you know what, I do have something to talk about. I could do suicide prevention. However, all the meeting planners and figures, bureaus and everybody thought of me as a funny game. So how do you rebrand after, you know, after this something that's on the toll opposite side of the spectrum, after twenty five years? So you know what? My wife goes to a TEDX talk and I said, what's the TEDEX dog? So she explained it to me and just by chance I got an email with a note where you could audition, you know, submit an application to a tex out. What the hell, I'll do it. So I submit over ten x talk by Vancouver BC. We're just going to be and I got it and I came out as depressing, suicidal on that stage in two thousand and fourteen. Nobody knew I was depressors. Who Aside, and not my family, my friends and my wife, nobody knew. Like like a lot of people with mental illness, we cover it well, and that allow me to rebrand from funny speaker to a speaker. Was Funny. And then I've done for I've been picked for seven Ted ex since in and two of them I couldn't make because of conflict, but I got five in a can, all of them on mental illness. In an effort to become the mental health convenient. That's my brand. So do you want to stay in that brand or do you still want to do shows...

...that are void of that? But maybe you through throwing some jokes that are related. But no, I mean I will not turn down comedy work. For the last ten years I worked on cruises, twelve or fourteen weeks a year doing just stand up. That's a tough gig. Actually, you know, it's two shows, maybe four and ten days. The rest of the time you're just a passenger. It was Holland America, so I had a cabin with a window, the gym steps away, the Grill is right down there. By a I mean it was. It's a long time to be away from home and they didn't pay as well as corporate work, but it's relaxing. I got you. I got to work out every day and but that's over. After I got busted for coming back from Cambodia at the beginning of the pandemic. Everybody thought I was dragging a coronavirus. So that inte my my cruise career. I do believe you mentioned your work ethic in early on. How has your work ethic, along with your awareness of your own mental health issues, and how you're you're going through them and dealing with them. How is your work ethic brought you through or how is it helped you along the way? Well, as I mentioned, most comics, and I said this many times, you know, comics don't become comics was I have a great work ethic. I mean they're working forty five minuts at night, come on. But yeah, because you know, the insurance the job of the insurance agent right was was very helpful informing that part of my personality because I learned about business cards, novel of the stationery and thank you know it's and asking for referrals. You know, the insurance businesses a sales businesses, and comedy and speaking is truly a sales business. I spend eighty five percent of my time marketing and selling, five percent traveling, five percent writing, five percent performing. I'm basically a salesperson who speaks, because if you don't sell, you don't speak, and so I was able to transfer from doing all that work getting myself booked in comedy clubs. The transition or pivot to getting connected with speakers grows back in the beginning of my speaker back of speakers bureaus with a big deal before the Internet. Now it's all about social media marketing and SEO and and that's how people you know, that's that's what I teach speaker clients is how to how to make sure you show up on Google page one. Are you able to evolve in that or you have someone to help you? How are you dealing with that transition, like onto social media being more out there? Well, I am old, sixty three, so these are not certainly don't look sixty three, but it's right. But I'm not a native user of any of those those platforms. Yeah, so I'm self taught, you know, and some of it I handle myself. If you happen to go to sue shoe hyprovincion speakers dental on Google, type that in your search box. WHO's that? PROVIDENS biggers dental? You'll find five to seven organic listenings for me on page one. I've got some folks helping me achieve that. For let's say suicehyprovincion speakers period or mental health speaker period. I don't rank very high on those phrases. So I hired, hired a company that's helping me climb the Google ladder. Yeah, to get the page one for those, because that's those are two phrases people type in quite frequently for what I do. So I hired a guy for twitter who's doing a really good job. He does a little pitch for me. I wrote it to connect, just for Virtual Cup of coffee. Yeah, not a sales pitch, and I've got some clients, you know, on the hook. I got a real them in for Ted ex coaching, which is what that's. That's our thing on on twitter is I'm pitching my Ted Ex coaching and I've got somebody helping me see twitter. Oh, there's something called ninety eight bucks social okay, Ninety eight bucks. Yeah, it'scom friend of mine, one of my speaker clients, and frank ever heard of it? I go no, what is it? Because well, for hundred bucks they'll post six times a week content that fits what you do, yes, on facebook and twitter, and for another forty eight bucks a month, and also put it on Instagram and Linkedin six times a week and so and they actually you know you, you tell them which key words are, what you do and what you're looking for, and I've been pleasantly surprised. They've been a really good job. Every time I see a post that they did supposedly as me, it's right on the money on suicide, mental health, depression, whatever happens to be. So what I've done is I've I've done it too much as I could, and now I'm reaching out, you know, to and during the during the pandemic here, with downtime, I'm trying these things out...

...in France. Yeah, try the twitter gap for a month. Yeah, and the ninety yet. So, so far, so good, and eventually it'll shake out. I'll just pick the ones that work the best. Linked in, I've got now Sixteenzero, seven hundred connections and when the pandemic started had elevenzero. I hired of virtual assistant, somebody to go on Linkedin and go through each profile look for keywords, you know, coach, author, speaker, and then my my ideal clients, Ventner Association, Dental instruction, occupations high rate of suicide, and there they have money, use outside speakers and they have a real need for what I have to teach them about bringing the suicide right now. Frank you meant so fifty three. Sorry. You mentioned your successfully. Do you have a path to where you would like to take what you're doing. Do you have something in mind, a vision to say, well, I would like to be doing this by a certain time, or some more things that you would like to be able to do, to get the opportunity to do that you haven't done yet? Yes, the my goal is is to give my wife. My wife works at a grocery store. It's a good job, to the frontline work her good, good pays cash here great benefits. But we're both I'm sixty three, she's sixty two. We're both approaching Medicare age because she's there at the grocery store, in part because, you know, here in this country, you somebody's got to work and have health insurance. My goal is to never retire. My goal is to get her retired so she can come home and be my chiefest staff and handle all the nuts and bolts, you know, the mail, emails and mailing, the travel in the contracting. So my goal is my number one, they call it. So chief purpose in life is to get her retired and home so that I'm never any more than arms length from her unless I'm flying somewhere to do a game. I don't care how worked all I drop, as long as she can spend the last x number of years of her life and selfishly bright, and she'll she tell you this. I also never want to cut the grass again, to go shopping again. So she that's our deal. Okay, look, I get you retired, but I'm not going to take someone more after your time. Is there a show that you've not done that you would like to do? It's on your your list of shows like this is. This would be one thing left on my bucket list, and that is to be a warm up comic for a Sitcom, a game show, a late night comedy show. That's the one thing I haven't been able to score. It's if you guess what that is. But what is a warm up comic? So let's say you're at the late night with whoever's doing late night. Before the host comes out, the the comic, the warm up comic, comes out. It's been fifteen, twenty minutes doing jokes and and doing the housekeeping ounce with bathrooms here, eggs there. You know, when you see the sciences a blog, make sure your blog. And then in between guests on a talk show or if you're doing a sitcom, while they resetting the scene of the stage, you keep the people in the audience entertained. The trick is you cannot be funnier than the material, the center fire. You got to put that bit in your mouth like a horse. Yeah, and so really the hiring somebody who's genial and amusing and personable, and I mean I was, I was born to do it. The trick is I've got a network my way. I've got some young friends will probably do very well in La and holly wooden show business, and I tell him and I help them. Okay, look, you're not pay men and this is not charity, it's enlightened self interest. Yeah, when you get the Sitcom and they go, who's going to warm up? Thank being words out of your mouth. But yeah, exactly. I'm like the mob, I'll do this for you some day. I come to you for a kind I'm say, yeah, so that's that's my the only other thing I didn't get to do those on my bucket list. When the crash came last persession. I thought I a job, good benefits, decent place. So it always want to be a police officer. So, at age fifty two, I apply with twelve different police departments and they can't deny you. You know to be considered higher if you can pass the physical enforcement. Yeah, and I have fitness test and I passed it. For Time. I'm the oldest person to stay of watching every passive thing and I came this close to being a Seattle police officer. I was on the shortlist. They said, detectives to my house check out my home life and my lovely wife. The two texts are saying at our front door in a Monday morning.

I'm off on a ship somewhere. My wife opened the door and goes, look, detectives at my front door first thing in the morning, just like old time. X. Yeah. Well, I'm later. They were talking about the benefits, madigald NAL vision. All this is king. They said every Seattle police officer gets a million dollars in life nature. You have any questions? And my wife was Ye, I got a question. They go, what's your question? A million dollars, a live jeers. They go yes, Mrs King, a million dollars. She goes, does he have to wear the bulletproof? Thats but and you know what, right I would have gotten the job my training. My training officer said, look, frank, here's a deal. Three years ago, two thousand and seven that we had more jobs nobody wanted. We would have taken a shot at a fifty two year old guy going to the academy because they have to pay the Department of pay to send you and that to pay you while you're there. So we would have taken a shot at you doing it. But you know, with the kids coming back from the Rock and Aghast am, we got a lot of young applicants. You know, it's nothing you did or didn't do. is since we have a ton of applicants, and so that's it's fun. I said, I you know, I did. I did. I tried as hard as possibly could. I pass at this and and the polygraph for Seattle. There's a question on there and you're not supposed to ask any questions or laugh. And one of the questions they break it up driving record, drug and alcohol records, sexual record, something else. We're talking about. Sexual you know your sexual record. The guy goes if you ever had have you ever had sex with a farm animal? Wait, you're not going to laugh. No, I'm trying not to laugh, and then he hits a Comma, if only by accident. I'm like, okay, I'm sorry, stop the test. I understand the first part of the question. What fascinates me is disclaimer. I said of the Guy, are you getting big strapping Washington farm boys in here can get fastest without the disclaimer. I swear to God your honor, of the sheep just kept bur that may even why I didn't get any, but I did pass a polograph and he laughs. Thank God, but that's actually and I was on a ship one time and I told that story. And there's a company eyes retired. You've been COP thirty years. You're frank thirty years ago. That question was on the test. Still on there. So that's that's the only thing on my bucket list that I haven't and the susupervention. Speaking, I always wanted to, like said, make a living ended difference. Finally figured out how I could do that. And so when they speaking business they call it picking a lane. You got a big lane. HMM, and they also say that in speaking the riches are in the niches. So I niche myself into suicipervention, that I niche myself into four five occupations that have a really high rate to direct all my marketing at those five occupations. So it's not like a shotgun approach. It's just a very narrow now I'll do other Su supervention engagement, but my marketing didn't. Construction, veterinary, healthcare and project managers are my five and that's where I aim all my marketing and it's made all the difference. Besides the fact that suicideberdene speaking, is not only my purpose, is my passion. You will say how'd you pick suicide and I go it pick me. In ernantic it's I would go to bed thinking about it our way. My favorite kind of client to coach is somebody just like that, where they've got something about them. Got to I've got a text cusion clients. Narcoleps she know she had narcolepses. So she's the law school. She thought everybody was that time. It's not uncommon with sleep disorder. Yeah, and she had herself tested as a sleep destroys in narcolops. Now she has a foundation, she's a sleep advocate. She's got, as you got, a Ted talk on sleep out there construct the final Ted dog. So she's my favorite kind of clock because she didn't have to pick anything and that she's passionate about. She's passionate about it. So yeah, passion is. If you come to me with passion for something, it's a lot easier to coach you and help you mark it. I've got a client who is male sexual assault survivor and there are one or six men are sexually assaulted and Harley and by talked about it. So there's a niche and there's not any many people in the niche speaking about it because men don't talk about that kind of thing general. So he goes almost say she's vulnerable and man, I'm telling you, I warned him. But when you speak on something like this, do a q Anda with the entire audience and then set us out another half an hour, because people can be lined up individually to talk to you, to share a store. And sure enough he got fresh. I could believe it. They were lined up. I told you, when you open that door and give them permission to give voice to it, they're going to do it. That's what you are saving lives. They're changing lives at the very least in saving other problem, because they all think they're alone. So what you probably get...

...this question a lot is what advice do you give to people who have dealt with are dealing with the thoughts of suicide is. I mean it's really I guess he would be, you know, like being a doctor and say, well, I don't have you come in and give you a diagnosis. I can't give someone a diagnosis over the Internet. Right. Don't want to be the guy that gives advice to someone then they're going to go follow that advice and it may not be for them. I understand that. But you probably get a question like that a lot of how do well, how do you deal with it yourself? Well, I, and I, by the way, I've been doing podcasts, webinars and a couple radio interviews. I created a keynote call staying social, distancing and staying saying don't worry about your meddlely Ol friends, because I discovered early on those are for mentally all, myself included. We wake up in an uncertain world every day. So I've been dealing with that for decades and I have something called a selfcare plan. Diet, exercise, good nicely, meditation, Medication, and I have a schedule. I've got a better at the same time, get over the same time, eat the same time, at the same time, have my excess same time. You know, I plan my fun time. Netflix Been D watching the second season of their season Os arc whatever. So I've been teaching neurotypical people this is how you survived. You control of things you can control. You can also use gamification where you make a game of it. I make a list of six things. I get to do list if I can't get out of bed, and my deal is since I scratch off number six, it's I can go back to bed, I don't care what it's. threeclocking that new broad daylight. That's the game. I win if I get all six of those. who gets me up and and normally I don't go back to bed that early, but I can because I won. Yeah, so that's now. If you, let's say you're suicide or you know someone or just depressed, I always suggest got evaluate, find a mental health professional, find out exactly what's going on and have a physical as well, because sometimes there's a physical cause. It's a physical manifestation something else going on your body has nothing to do with your you know, being clinically depressed, get a valuate and if medications indicated. Things have got a lot better in terms of precision prescriptions. There's now a DNA cheek swap test. They take your DNA and they match it. Let's say you're depressed. They they put your DNA up against a long list of anti depressents. They find a one or two that they believe will work best with your particular metabolism. So you get a lot less of this. Go on a broth. Go on and go on a bro so that's my advice to make sure you get to just like two hundred bucks and churnch covers it. Often Times. Get the cheek swap test. Make sure you got the right meds. If you have somebody in your family or friend or whatever it is, depressed, you will say. What do you say to him? They'll say anything. Just actively listen, just let them talk, just cosign whatever it is they're going through. Is My best advice. And I put my phone number up on the screen every keynote. I do myself phone number and I tell him, look, you're suicidal, called the suicidepervenge lifeline. You're just having a really bad day, call a crazy person here to my number, because we're less likely to be judgmental. We're not gonna do what they call. Should all over it. You should do this, you should do that, you should try fish oil. We're just gonna listen and commiserate and with me if you have depressure with us. You don't have to explain any of that. You know how to say to me frank you know every now that I'm sitting at a railroad crossing a trains coming and I go, let me finish the sentence, and you're thinking I could pull up on the tracks and that would be the to go. How do you know that? Know it? I lit it so because they think you know. Can you imagine if you thought that way? You're seeing a train crossing and the arms are going down, the trains coming, you're thinking about pulling up all the tracks. You realize you're thinking about that. Like, what kind of freak am I? Well, is often times, when times in my my keynotes, except for one key note of all the keynotes ever done, I've at least one person come up and say it's called chronic suicide all aviation. They didn't know how to name they fall. They were just some kind of freak. And the way I hook him is I go look, I'm at chronic suicidal aviation. Here's what it looks like. A couple of years ago my car broke down. I have three thoughts on Biden. One, get a fix too by a new and three, I could just kill myself. It's always option. See and man, you can, you can see in the room the light bulbs go on over some of these people's heads because they had no idea how a name they saw. They're just some kind of freak. I would people come up just weeping to find out that they're not alone, and I figured, you know, maybe I've stared them far enough off the paths of suicide. They live a normal life and one day hit me, Bryan, I'm like George Bailey and it's a wonderful life. I've been chilled with these people's lives. would be like if I were not there to say to them, you're not alone, because if I kill myself I would take all of them with you. It's like you're...

...saying about cutting the lawn. It's either I can call someone to cut the lawn, I can cut it myself or I can kill my exactly kill me, because people who have, people who have what I have, chronic suicide of aviation. It's it is. Suicide's always a solution for problems large and small. And now the upset of that brides that it's my superpower because I know if things get really, really, really really bad, I can end it, I can end the pain, and that that a lot of people don't understand that suicide is generally not about killing yourself. Most people who die by suicide do not want to kill themselves. They simply want to end and so no, I know I can do it. I'm sorry, my book is going to be called starting a conversation on suicide. Living in the exit row, because that's where I live, in the the seat in the exit row on an airplane. Anytime I want. I just popped the door and I'm done. It's my exit strategy and that allows me to put up with a great deal of pain knowing I've always got that option. It's Ironic, but if you watch the show after life with Ricky Gervais, wife does cancer, he's depressed. Suicide'm I'St Trish Cheer Him Up. Second Episode Ricky goes looked on tight chair again. I'm depressed, I'm suicidally G it's too bad, I'll just kill myself. Sadly, it's kind of my superpower. Oh Oh my God, somebody down that riding staff has chronic sociality. Stole my line. Yeah, I'll give you another one. This. This is a fantasty I've had many times heat. Two guys come up to with knives. It's filmed in England, so they would have guns, come up to him with knives and go give us your money and ricky goes. Or what don't work, ill you and he goes. We know for a lot of people that would be an inducement to give you my money. In my case, yeah, I'm yeah, when I when I came back from Cambodian and they gotten so much trouble because people thought I had jumped quarantine dragged the virus back to the US. We never been quarantine. I was never sick, but you know, I got people, I got had to handle death threads and a guy called me said I know where you work out, know when you work out the gym. I'm coming there to kill you, and I said, okay, that's fine, I said, but no, this I've been trying to do that to myself for four decades. And here's a deal. I don't want to die, but I'm not afraid to die. So just just add that your calculations before you pull off, never show. I got scared to hell on them that you're meant. You mentioned a couple times about the quarantine. It's it's and I think there's something to it because I'm in South Korea and even yesterday I was walking down the road. I had my mask on my wrist in the middle of nowhere. There happened to be a guy on the bus stop, and I live in a very secluded place. Any point is I put your mask on. No, there's no one around, and so outside right like it. We're outside and it's like the most beautiful day. So maybe, maybe even you can speak of those little triggers to get people like this thing. So I'm sure the people who had death threats on you had initial good reactions or intentions of wanting, you know, to protect people, but then people kind of get over the edge and then there's all this mixed, this mixed messaging going on and people get fearful and then the first reaction. That's like a buddy of mine told me. He's like, he says his wife sometimes don't know I'm a cat. Don't push me in a corner because I'm coming out fighting right. Well, they, they the trolls and so forth. They have, you know, they have an agenda. It's called a cancel culture. They they sent some moral a moral failing like coming back and they're thinking you're dragging the virus and they come after you because they can increase their status by taking down somebody a little higher status. Now, I'm not a celebrity, but you know, I'm in Showbiz. I've been doing comedy for they came after me and and some people were generally fright and my neighbors and will cook food for you and put on your front porch so your husband not to come outside please. Yeah, was it was ugly. But yeah, and here's a deal. Somebody said to me him about the pandemic. Know about about the Cambodi thing, because we had the shut we had change her home phone and were shut down three social media accounts for somebody said to me, are you surviving this whole, you know, Cambodia, Corona Quarantine thing. I go like, here's a deal. I've had two hour de gun replacements, Double Bot pass a heart attack, three stints play with the barrel and my gun tastes like I've forgot major depressive disorder. Chronicts as all aviation and I lost to a puppet on the...

...old star starts. This is not the worst thing that's ever happened. So comedy. You right, it's so true, like we quickly forget how bad things really are another parts of the world, things going on and what we've been through in life, and then this thing that we're not quite certain about, no one really truly knows or we have answers to that. Most of us don't know, and then we're willing to, you know, kill someone because we think we're right. Well, I'm by the way, when we were in the Pacific, there we were turned away by five countries our ship was, including Korea. It's understandable, it's I know, I would. You know, we know. I someone sent me. Why would they do that? So here's why no politician wants to be the person who checked off letting us come ashore and then it all blows up. Yeah, I understand. I finally, I'm guessing somebody paid somebody and we go we're got. Well, on a brighter side to I said this the other day on social media. I went to a restaurant out in the country because we were at a funeral and people would get out of the car, put on their mask to walk fifteen feet in a restaurant that was at capacity, a three hundred or more people just chaling down on meat. And we were in the country. So the the hipocrisy or the inconsistency. Like the gentleman, I'm sure he was on his way to a restaurant yesterday, you know, telling me to put my masks the love the thing like, just think it fully through and then then maybe we can have a conversation about that. What is your biggest frank what is what is your biggest difficulty in what you do on a daily basis, work related or as a comedian speaking about suicide prevention? What is the biggest challenge that you have that you would you would like other people to know so that they can have a better understanding of you? It is the booking. You know, people say I can never get up and do what you do on stage. That's the time I get on stage, but I'm doing comedy or I'm doing assist our prevention speech. My work is pretty new much done. Yeah, you know, the contract assigned. I've got it a pose. I'm going to pick up balance that evening. I just get to go up. If it's comedy, just have a good time or if it's suicipervention, perhaps save change some lives. So that's that's the fun part. The hard part is, you know, I'm I'm an independent sales person, basically working on commission. I kill what I eat. I'm sorry, you would I kill the you what I kill. So if I don't, I don't work. If I don't if I don't show up on, you know, page one google, by the way, on my favorite jokes. You know the best place to hide out if you want to hide out from everybody in the world? Page to Google. Nobody ever goes there. Yeah, so the number one thing. It must be the truth, it must be the best and it can't be by on page toose any good. So yeah, my biggest difficulty. It's always been that way from the time I started doing comedy through today. I'm just a sale when they're talk my biggest challenges, and of course it's gotten worse because can't eat live. So I've I did one virtual engagement in May, June and July. Two of them are rescheduled from live events that were for April. I've got three events next year, March, April and they that are rescheduled from this spring, but between now and March I got another. So thank God. Hopefully the next stimulus package will pass and they'll continue at least some of that six hundred a week unemployment from the feds and the everybody as a you know, as a stimulus bonus or whatever. I'm hoping that that they got to do that this week or early next because it's Saturday. Saturday the whole six hundred bucks a week thing runs out. How difficult you being for you? How difficult would it be for you to do online gigs? Is that a near impossibility as a comedian? As comedian is difficult. Difficult as speaker, not so much, because you're not really the feeding off the reaction reactions here. But people said to me, how can you do comedy in a zoom like zoom comedy thing, you may be. Well, yeah, and when I do the speaking I have everybody their mics on. They got a question, just yell it out, so it's much more alive. But think about this. I did horrible one nighters for seven years in between the Nice comedy clubs. I've done my entire forty five minute show to two people in a room full of urage. So I can do it and you would even know that I was not happy doing it, because it just passed on a smile and you just go through it. Frank. That's really last couple of questions. One, how can people reach you if they want to? For whatever reasons? You mentioned your phone number. I mean you didn't mention the number, but...

...how you do it? Any other particular ways that people can reach out to you? Contact you, book you, however? That however, that works. So for you. Yeah, they can go to if they're looking for a TEDEX, they want to do a tedex talk, they can go to your Tex coachcom and if you go there there's a free pdf six things you can do to kill your chances to get a dead dog. And then, if they go to the mental health comedian, the Mental Health Comediancom, my phone numbers are emails there and where we working with the two women? We written a series of books. First one is already out on men's mental health and I've voiced it for audible and there's an mpthree on that site. The mental health comedian. You put in an email addressing down both the MP three on a bridge cover to cover for free. So either one of those would get you to me frank. How has work starting from bottling? What kind of was a coke back in the bay? Bottle boy, bottling papers, insurance and such? How has worked? Work brought you through life? How was it helped you throughout your life? Well, my third Ted talk is called suicide. The secret about success, because I knew I wanted to be a comedian. I knew someday I would be a comedian, but I married my high school sweetheart and that was not what she had gone so I got to the point where I was depressing suicide. I knew if I did not change jobs, begin open mic and eventually end up as a comedian a sooner rather later, I was going to kill myself. So my think, a second tone was well, I could divorced my wife, put my insurance job, try comedy. Who Works. Great. If it doesn't, hell, I can still kill myself. So from the first moment, joke never gets all day like I thought. I was just kid myself that this is yeah and so, and I've met a number of entrepreneurs and entertainers had the same basic thought. So I always knew, going through elementary school, Middle School, high school that I was different. And I have something I believe. I call it reverse imposter syndrome. With Imposter Syndrome you think you're going to be found out, everybody's going to go. You don't deserve a PhD are, you don't deserve a masters are. You know you're not fun I have the reverse of that. I believe that I am funny and talent that and famous. It's just I'm waiting for somebody else's they recognize it. And so with me and coach. Yes, and that began the day I I connected with what I should have been doing, which is comedy. From that first open mic, from that moment when I have only heard in my head three times in my life. You're home, once on stage doing stand out that first night. HMM, I took a voice over class and the guy in the booth was reading some copy from McDonald's commercial. Another student you got done and Inns, and I said to myself, man, it's a McDonald's commercial, put a smile in your voice, and the teacher goes, man, it's McDonald's commercial, put a smile in your voice. I'm like, Oh dear God, I heard it. As heard it, so I thought I'm home, and so that's once. Once, I think, you align yourself with what your purpose is to be and once you find that why. A friend of mine said, if you decide what you want, the how will follow the how. If you decide why you want it, the how will follow much more quickly. Absolutely frank and closing. You've mentioned it, but why do you work? What is the reason why you get up each day? Why do you work? My why is at a young woman come up to me after a college show, after college show, and she said thanks for your keynote. I said you're welcome. She goes with it. made me weep. How To make you wait? She goes. You know the part about your car to fix by now, and you just go yourself, because I've been having those salts on my life. I I didn't know how to nate. I thought I was just some kind of freak, completely alone, and she goes. Not Heard you say that out loud. For the first time in my life, I realized I was not alone and I wept. That's what gets met a bit more. That's great, frank. I appreciate you very much and taking the time take your dog to the vet and I hope that people reach out to find you, because there's there's a many of people who share the same things that you're going through. Oh yeah, and and I would be a liar if I didn't say I never thought of suicide and I resignate with the idea of I can just pull shoot done. Yeah, yeah, frank goes. There's no solution, no solution for that. Oh yes, there is, but you're not going to like it.

I appreciate frank thank you very kindly, sir. Talk to you later. Sir. Thank you for listening to this episode of why we work with Brian v be sure to subscribe, follow and share with others so they too can be encouraged in their work. I hope that you have yourself a productive, a joyful day in your work.

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